{"id":344501,"date":"2014-07-25T14:46:30","date_gmt":"2014-07-25T06:46:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.mariefranceasia.com\/uncategorized-hk\/9-ways-to-make-yourself-feel-loved-344501.html"},"modified":"2014-07-25T14:46:30","modified_gmt":"2014-07-25T06:46:30","slug":"9-ways-to-make-yourself-feel-loved","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mariefranceasia.com\/hk\/lifelove-hk\/coaching-lifelove-hk\/9-ways-to-make-yourself-feel-loved-344501.html","title":{"rendered":"9 Ways to boost your confidence and love yourself"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"SentirAimee\"<\/span><\/a><\/p>

1.\u00a0Create an imaginary lover:<\/strong><\/p>

\"Imagine a man who fills you with enveloping, reassuring love<\/a> and warmth,\u201d proposes psychoanalyst Marie-Laure Colonna*.\u00a0Then devote the time you are getting ready to imagining you are getting prettied up for him.\u00a0Finally, do not go out alone, but with him...\u201d You then find yurself in a state of mind in which you will be sensitive to others.\u00a0At the restaurant, you could see that the servers are quick ... A good sign.<\/p>

* Author of The Adventure of the couple today (Dervy).<\/em><\/p>

2. Appreciate your differences:<\/strong><\/p>

As little girls, we learned to handle being different from our mothers and to distance ourselves from her thanks to our comfort blanket\u00a0and other transitional objects.\u00a0It is this otherness that has to be rediscovered and embraced.\u00a0Your nose, your clumsiness, your gravelly voice... You have faults that belong to you, and only to you.\u00a0\u201cRather than tracing out an unattainable model to live up to, cultivate the things that are original and specific to you,\u201d advises the analyst Martine Teillac*.\u00a0Accepting your differences not only gives you permission to be yourself, but also allows you to develop what characterizes you the best.\u00a0The freedom to think, to act and to be unique comes from this awareness of the distance that separates us from each other, which we must fulfil if we wish to come to terms with ourselves. This cult of difference opens our minds and makes us leave behind the bad narcissism that forces us to meet people just like us, and never stray out of our comfort zones.<\/p>

*Author of Loving to love others (First Editions).<\/em><\/p>

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>

3.\u00a0Say thank you:<\/strong><\/p>

If graciousness helps us reconcile with ourselves, \u201cit consists of first learning to be generous with ourselves,\u201d says John Dalla Costa*, founder of the Centre for Ethics Orientation in Toronto, Canada.\u00a0It is not to encourage yourself to give more, but prepare yourself to fully receive all that is offered.\u00a0It is a process of immersion in the generosity, and not an exercise in self-control.\u00a0Gratitude is our response to the person who gave us something.\u00a0This \"thank you<\/a>\" opens our heart and that of the other.\u00a0And each time, it invites us to contemplate the goodness that sometimes escapes the way we look at everyday life, and ourselves.\u201d<\/p>

*Co-author of The Art of graciousness (Le Jour).<\/em><\/p>

4.\u00a0Adopt\u00a0a cat:<\/strong><\/p>

Our pets are great therapists, since they wish unconditional love upon us, proof that we are actually nice people!\u00a0Of the many breeds and species, the Korat cat (from Thailand<\/a>), with its grey fur and intense green eyes, is a champion.\u00a0\u201cThey are so sociable and give so much love that I let them get involved in my work,\u201d says psychotherapist Claude Imbert.\u00a0I have two of them who welcome my patients and create a loving bond with them.\u00a0They give their little head for a tickle and offer their bellies for a scratch, just like little dogs.\u00a0They help vulnerable people to find and sometimes come to terms with themselves.\u201d<\/p>

5.\u00a0Rediscover your motherhood:<\/strong><\/p>

How do we love ourselves when our mother did not pamper, or failed to understand us?\u00a0\u201cBy connecting with all the love she gave us when we were embryos, with no importance given the dangers which threatened us,\u201d says Dr. Claude Imbert.\u00a0\u201cThroughout pregnancy, our mothers protected our immune systems by covering us in antibodies.\u00a0She prevented uterine contractions in manufacturing progesterone.\u00a0She gave us a soft and comfortable nest imbibed with oestrogen, flooded us with health and wellness secreted via more endorphins and provided the energy for our growth by increasing blood glucose.\u00a0And even if we were born naturally or via C-sections, our birth is proof that there was a maternal desire beyond appearances, on another level of consciousness, deeper.\u00a0Discover the existence of this secret maternal instinct, benefactress, and reconcile deeply with yourself to incite that desire to take care of your own body.\u00a0\"<\/p>

6.\u00a0Tell yourself \u201cI love you\u201d:\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>

Those soft whispers leave their mark on us.\u00a0The logic behind it \u2013 \u201cwe are composed of 60% water and it is responsible for our thoughts,\u201d says psychotherapist Claude Imbert1<\/sup>, a scholar on the works of Masaru Emoto2<\/sup>.\u00a0In the 1990s, the Japanese researcher studied the memory skills of water by subjecting samples to various influences \u2013 classical or rock, feelings of love or hate... Once frozen, their crystals were submitted to the microscope, and the result showed that those subjected to more positivity had more waves, and the crystals were more beautiful.\u00a0Hence the conclusion that if we just improve our thoughts, each of our cells can then transcend itself, and eventually become a rare gem.<\/p>

1<\/em>\u00a0<\/strong>Author of Make your own psychotherapy, find the love of self (VH Publishing).<\/em>\u00a02<\/em>\u00a0<\/strong>Author of Hidden Water (Guy Tr\u00e9daniel Editions) messages.<\/em><\/p>

7.\u00a0Wake up to the signs:<\/strong><\/p>

A book title that calls out to us, a random piece of paper found in the street, our GPS that says \u201cMake the first U-turn possible\u201d, a slogan, a poster... the world speaks to us.\u00a0\u201cThese messages are all riddles that the universe offers us to decode, in order to send us specific signs,\u201d explains Claude Imbert.\u00a0\u201cWhen we are connected to the elements that surround us, these messages reflect a part of ourselves that do not communicate with our consciousness.\u00a0Letting ourselves be inspired by the signs around us makes us feel guided, and gives us confidence in ourselves.\u00a0\"<\/p>

8.\u00a0Become a work of art:\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/p>

You are Milo\u2019s Venus,<\/em> arms restored.\u00a0\"In your way, you are the manifestation of beauty, and you deserve to give yourself a budget to make yourself feel good, and be even more radiant<\/a>.\u00a0So work on the intention to put effort into your beauty routines,\u201d says Claude Imbert.\u00a0If you lovingly spread on your wrinkle cream, by focusing on the essential nutrients that will smooth your skin, it will be worth more than any Beluga caviar mask you may purchase.\u00a0And when you are shopping<\/a>, do not just be content to have dug up sandals that fit your feet.\u00a0\u201cThink again about your intention,\u201d advises the psychotherapist.\u00a0\u201cAnd don\u2019t purchase it until you feel and realise how this shoe, perfume<\/a>, or piece of jewellery is a manifestation of your inner beauty and resonates with your inner being.\u201d<\/p>


9. \u00a0 Laugh at yourself:
<\/strong>Psychoanalytically speaking, the fear of not being loved\/ not being loved anymore is a classic symptom of hysterical neurosis.\u00a0But don\u2019t panic!\u00a0If this diagnosis bodes a melancholy of the soul, it also predisposes to \"interesting qualities, such as a fertile imagination,\" says Dominique Drillon*, president of the Institute of Psychoanalysis and Management.\u00a0And that's not all \u2013 according to the therapist Betty Saussale \u2013 the funniest of the bunch, that\u2019s you again!\u00a0A light sense of anxiety and guilt would indeed be a major asset to practice derision.\u00a0\"To survive psychologically, the chronically anxious are often forced to face their inner demons in a humorous way. Hence the charm of Woody Allen...,\u201d she says.\u00a0So go on, band of jesters, cheer yourselves up!<\/p>

* Author of The Happiness of being neurotic (Archipelago).<\/em><\/p>

Laurence Cochet<\/em><\/p> ","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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