{"id":344848,"date":"2014-06-14T08:54:03","date_gmt":"2014-06-14T00:54:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.mariefranceasia.com\/uncategorized-hk\/aieshah-10-2how-forgive-infidelity-344848.html"},"modified":"2014-06-14T08:54:03","modified_gmt":"2014-06-14T00:54:03","slug":"aieshah-10-2how-forgive-infidelity","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mariefranceasia.com\/hk\/lifelove-hk\/coaching-lifelove-hk\/aieshah-10-2how-forgive-infidelity-344848.html","title":{"rendered":"\u201cHow can I forgive his infidelity?\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.mariefranceasia.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/7\/2014\/06\/iStock_000020164322XSmall-1-.jpg\"><span style=\"display: block;\" class=\"wrap-img\" id=\"wrap-img-26473\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" itemprop=\"thumbnailUrl\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-26473 img-responsive  size-full\" src=\"http:\/\/www.mariefranceasia.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/7\/2014\/06\/iStock_000020164322XSmall-1-.jpg\" alt=\"iStock_000020164322XSmall-1-\" width=\"425\" height=\"282\" \/><\/span><\/a><\/p> <h5> <span><strong>Sandrine, 42, married for 13 years with two children<\/strong><\/span> <\/h5> <p>\u201cFor a long time, my partner and I were a perfect pair, beautifully complementing each other in every way.\u00a0But last year, after two or three years that were difficult to manage because of the age of our children, disaster struck \u2013 I found out he was cheating on me.<\/p> <p>Far from defending himself, he justified why it happened \u2013 I was no longer available, I stopped listening to him, I stopped looking at him... Deeply hurt, I nevertheless tried to understand and take own share of the blame. But even today, the emotions are stronger than me, I have tried hard to forget, but I do not trust him anymore. In spite of myself, I search his laptop, I panic when he is late and, most importantly, I realize that I have become contemptuous.\u00a0Even if he regularly puts me on guard by telling me that I am pushing him away, I cannot seem to stop\u00a0myself.\u00a0Does this mean that I have stopped loving him? On the contrary, this ordeal has shown that I care about him more than anything.\u00a0But what should I do to forgive him and find my way back to him... before he takes my word and eventually leaves for good?\u201d<\/p> <p><strong>The response of Dr. Robert Neuburger*:<\/strong><br \/> \u201cIt is not difficult to understand the origins of Sandrine\u2019s discomfort.\u00a0Her partner has completely flipped the situation on its head.\u00a0Instead of recognizing that what he did was not right, he has, in addition, found a way to blame her, and accuse her for the deception she suffered.\u00a0This reversal is probably a reflection of the fact that he feels guilty, and the best way to get rid oneself of guilt is to put the responsibility on the other party. If he was so unhappy with his marriage, he would have been able to open up, and address the problem with her rather than commit an act of infidelity.\u00a0This manipulation of reality is what is troubling for Sandrine.\u00a0The fact that she loves her companion creates difficulty in perceiving the mental manipulation she is being subjected to, while it is clear to an outside observer.\u00a0This situation is disturbing and may account for her seemingly irrational behaviour, but at the same time reflects the fact that she is living in an abnormal situation.\u00a0It is desirable that his companion recognizes his faults, and then and only then they can, if they wish, get over this crisis together.These are common for <a href=\"http:\/\/www.mariefranceasia.com\/lifelove\/coaching-lifelove\/aieshah-8-secret-making-love-story-last-21933.html\">older couples <\/a>because expectations about the relationship for each member may have evolved over time.\u201d<\/p>  <p><em>* Dr. Robert Neuburger is the author of \u201cOn arr\u00eate ?\u2026on continue ? Faire son bilan de couple\u201d (To end it? \u2026to continue it? \u00a0Reviewing your relationship) (Payot)<\/em><\/p>  <p><strong>Read also:<\/strong><br \/> <a href=\"http:\/\/www.mariefranceasia.com\/lifelove\/decoding\/infideles-juste-en-reve-22557.html#post-22557\">- Unfaithful, just in your dreams<\/a><br \/> <a href=\"http:\/\/www.mariefranceasia.com\/lifelove\/coaching-lifelove\/aieshah-10-4-men-can-love-us-deceive-us-26483.html\">- Men and infidelity: How can they love and deceive at the same time?<\/a><br \/> <a href=\"http:\/\/www.mariefranceasia.com\/lifelove\/decoding\/quels-sont-les-signes-astrologiques-les-plus-infideles-25971.html#post-25971\">-\u00a0Which are the most unfaithful astrological signs?<\/a><\/p> <p><em>\u00a0<\/em><\/p> <p><em>Interview by Stephanie Torre<\/em><\/p> ","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>After her husband cheated on her, she found it hard to trust him again - Dr Robert Neuburger tells us how to deal with and forgive our partner's infidelity.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":65,"featured_media":26474,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_yoast_wpseo_metadesc":"After her husband cheated on her, she found it hard to trust him again - Dr Robert Neuburger tells us how to deal with and forgive our partners infidelity.","_is_translated":false,"_source_post_url":"","is_displayed_in_hp":false,"displayed_in_hp_after_update":false,"is_thumb_featured":false,"template_without_diapo":"","enable_bloc_resume":false,"bloc_resume_post":[],"ctc_post":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[17047],"tags":[1646350,1646235,1636047,1638550,1640418,1643155,1638628,1635086,1635601,1647862,1640425],"class_list":["post-344848","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-coaching-lifelove-hk","tag-bad-weather-hk","tag-banana-hk","tag-couple-hk","tag-expert-advice-2-hk","tag-husband-hk","tag-infidelity-hk","tag-life-advice-hk","tag-marriage-hk","tag-relationship-hk","tag-taiwanese-hk","tag-wife-hk"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Relationships: How to forgive his infidelity? - Hong Kong<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"After her husband cheated on her, she found it hard to trust him again - 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