{"id":344895,"date":"2014-06-10T09:40:49","date_gmt":"2014-06-10T01:40:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.mariefranceasia.com\/uncategorized-hk\/aieshah-7-1-4-conseils-pour-stimuler-le-desir-344895.html"},"modified":"2014-06-10T09:40:49","modified_gmt":"2014-06-10T01:40:49","slug":"aieshah-7-1-4-conseils-pour-stimuler-le-desir","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mariefranceasia.com\/hk\/lifelove-hk\/coaching-lifelove-hk\/aieshah-7-1-4-conseils-pour-stimuler-le-desir-344895.html","title":{"rendered":"4 Tips to stimulate desire in the bedroom"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"shutterstock_188012843-750x410\"<\/span><\/a><\/p>

Sustaining desire between a\u00a0couple<\/a> is a sacred bet.\u00a0We would love to believe that the force driving us into each other\u2019s arms is purely animal and instinctive, natural and magical.\u00a0When in fact, there is nothing that should be more controlled, worked on or anticipated. To help you, we offer you a four-part to-do list, with the help of specialists such as Emmanuelle and Alexia Camille Bacou\u00ebl, co-founders of the Cabinet of Feminine Curiosity in France\u00a0and facilitators of workshops on the desire and sexuality\u00a0-\u00a0as well as Sylvain Mimoun, a gynaecologist and sex therapist.<\/p>

1) set\u00a0YOURSELVES on a\u00a0date<\/span> <\/h2>

At the beginning of the relationship, there is always a spark.\u00a0Always ready for torrid exchanges, one can even speak of explosive eruptions.\u00a0After a few years, it is more like \u201cyou wanted to see Vesuvius and the only volcanic eruption you witnessed was his snoring\u201d.\u00a0According to Camille Emmanuelle, \u201cThe desire in the long-term is anything but spontaneous.\u00a0It is necessary to recreate environments, put back in place the distance and primp yourself to see each other, just as it used to be in the beginning.\u00a0\u201cThis amounts to setting dates\u00a0outside the home: at the caf\u00e9, or even a hotel.\u00a0\u201cThe advantage of the hotel room, says Camille, is that apart from making love, there is nothing else to do there!\u00a0\"<\/p>

Dr Mimoun\u2019s additional tip:<\/strong> \u201cFor the date\u00a0to fully play its role as an aphrodisiac, it is necessary that one partner\u00a0takes the initiative, it should not be calculated on both sides.\u00a0We may, from time to time, sort out our agendas and book an evening out, but we should also try to surprise\u00a0-\u00a0not just in the desire but of setting the date itself too.\u00a0The famous \"Oh, I'm just round the corner, wanna come and have a drink?\u201d always works.<\/p>

2) PLAY OUT AN ANTI-PERFORMANCE<\/span> <\/h2>

The subway, work, the brats\u2026we are used to giving them our maximum.\u00a0Because of these intense requirements, we get back home, completely drained, with only one desire \u2013 to quietly soak in the bath.\u00a0Then all it takes is for our man to appear and steal a kiss on the neck to paralyse our entire being.\u00a0One kiss leads to another, and we know how it ends: Karma Sutra and acrobatic sex.<\/p>

Sleep earlier.\u00a0According to Camille, \u201cwe can no longer dictate the foreplay-penetration-relaxation routine.\u00a0Sexual matters are above all a game, not a challenge.\u00a0The pressure is enormous.\u00a0We must give them signals of nobility by caressing and flirting with them without doing anything.\u00a0We must engage in a goofy striptease, laugh together and move on\u2026or not.<\/p>

Dr Mimoun\u2019s additional tip: \u201cThe kiss and hug both call for empathy and complicity in the couple.\u00a0What kills the desire is all that is serious, predictable and regular: getting into bed, the lights going out, making love.\u00a0The quickies outside the marital bed contribute to the renewal of your relationship, a lightness that does not require too much energy either.\u201d<\/p>

3) EXPAND HIS BOX OF FANTASIES<\/span> <\/h2>

If there is one area that is neglected, it is his fantasy world!\u00a0We know of his\u00a0three fantasies\u00a0<\/a>that run in a loop, of frightening banality, and we know by heart the secret of his enjoyment so well that we do not even need a GPS to navigate our way through it.\u00a0As Alexia Bacou\u00ebl says, \u201cwe forget the brain function of sexuality.\u00a0The richness of your inner world takes work. It is in exploring all the resources \u2013 erotic literature, comics, photos, movies, that we run his machine of fantasies, and develop his curiosity.\u00a0According to Camille, the films of Sweden's Erika Lust, pioneer of feminist pornography can be a good place to start.\u00a0To learn more about each other\u2019s fantasies, each other\u2019s subtle erogenous zones, all it takes is to ask him, nonchalantly, \u201cWhen I touch you, what do you feel?\u201d and to suggest to him \u201cwhat if we go to the balcony, enjoy some sun and give each other a massage?\u201d<\/p>

Dr Mimoun\u2019s additional tip:<\/strong> \u201cWhen each person discover their own feelings and the sources of their pleasure, the couple is able to multiply the possibilities by two. 1 + 1 = endless variations.\u00a0It is necessary to learn to identify the right moment in which you can share these fantasies with each other, without ever making the rapport mechanical (avoid systematically reproducing the things that once worked).\u00a0Your other half does not have fantasies?\u00a0It is more like he does, but chooses to ignore them...\u201d<\/p>

4) TAKE CARE OF THE FOUNDATION<\/span> <\/h2>

Nobody would suggest you transform your room<\/a>, that refuge, that haven, into a brothel worthy of the more dodgy streets of Amsterdam.\u00a0But there is a minimum which\u00a0you should ensure.\u00a0\u201cAt the beginning of the relationship,\u201d says Camille, \u201cyou do not leave the clothes dryer in the room\u00a0or\u00a0put the iPhone on standby on the nightstand for example.<\/p>

So why, then, is the bed no longer the playground of the couple, but is allowed to be invaded by kids toys, or by computers?\u201d Without investing in an animal skin throws, a fireplace or a mirror on the ceiling, you can still remain in a state of hot alert by ensuring the correct framework.\u00a0It is basically giving back priority to the foundation of the relationship \u2013 a high level of attraction and sexuality.\u00a0This is equivalent to prioritising love before everything else (the washing machine, the dishes in the sink, etc.) And the mark of this being a priority is making it a space worthy of the name \u201cbedroom\u201d.<\/p>

Dr Mimoun\u2019s additional tip:<\/strong> \u201cIf the desire is there, regardless of the decor, it is there to the limits.\u00a0On the other hand, once the desire wanes, the atmosphere and the environment can become a wet blanket (and we end up focusing on the details that kill the said desire).\u00a0We know it well: when it comes to making love, if we wait to feel like it, we can end up waiting extremely long.\u00a0We must therefore create the climate and refocus on the\u00a0excitement.\u201d<\/p>

Fabienne Boucaret<\/em><\/p>

Read more relationship advice on Marie France Asia:<\/strong><\/span> <\/h5>

- 9 Keys to re-ignite the passion in your relationship<\/a><\/span>
-\u00a0Relationships: Understanding and preventing emotional co-dependency<\/a>
-\u00a0Sex: 7 Days to make him crack<\/a><\/p>

<\/span> <\/h2> ","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Raising the temperature in your relationship via a four-step to-do list may seem a tad tedious. And we grant you, it is not even a bit sexy... but it works! And fortunately, all the effort will eventually pay off.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":65,"featured_media":25640,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_yoast_wpseo_metadesc":"From being spontaneous with your loved one, choosing seductive locations, and sexual fantasies - here our our 4 tips to spicing up the desire.","_is_translated":false,"_source_post_url":"","is_displayed_in_hp":false,"displayed_in_hp_after_update":false,"is_thumb_featured":false,"template_without_diapo":"","enable_bloc_resume":false,"bloc_resume_post":[],"ctc_post":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[17047],"tags":[1645644,1636047,1638550,1641293,1640283,1635953,1636212,1646662,1641295,1641296,1636892,1647964,1646665],"class_list":["post-344895","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-coaching-lifelove-hk","tag-colleage-hk","tag-couple-hk","tag-expert-advice-2-hk","tag-intimacy-hk","tag-intimate-hk","tag-love-hk","tag-partner-hk","tag-practice-hk","tag-sex-hk","tag-sex-advice-hk","tag-sex-life-hk","tag-stimulate-hk","tag-zero-gravity-hk"],"yoast_head":"\nSex: 4 ways to stimulate desire in the bedroom! - 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