{"id":345231,"date":"2014-05-06T09:26:46","date_gmt":"2014-05-06T01:26:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.mariefranceasia.com\/uncategorized-hk\/9-ways-preserve-marriage-birth-baby-345231.html"},"modified":"2014-05-06T09:26:46","modified_gmt":"2014-05-06T01:26:46","slug":"9-ways-preserve-marriage-birth-baby","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mariefranceasia.com\/hk\/lifelove-hk\/expert-advice-hk\/9-ways-preserve-marriage-birth-baby-345231.html","title":{"rendered":"9 ways to preserve your marriage after the birth of your baby"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"shutterstock_147933050\"<\/span><\/a><\/p>

#1 Anticipate<\/strong><\/p>

\u201cThere is still a sense of shame that accompanies the difficulties that come with what should technically be a perfectly happy moment.\u00a0Too many women think that if they encounter problems, it is because they are not up to par. This must therefore be anticipated, by inquiring and talking about it with your spouse before the birth (eg. a shuffle in the balance of tasks and responsibilities).\u00a0Be careful though not to paint a picture of the future that is too dark, this is a period that is essentially supposed to be happy.\u00a0Keep in mind that a new chapter begins - life will never be the same - but that change is not a bad thing.\u00a0Thus, there will be less disappointment and it will be easier to manage the daily difficulties.\u201d<\/p>

#2 Prioritize<\/strong><\/p>

\u201cWanting to juggle everything at once is not a good idea.\u00a0It is essential to prioritise, not just as individuals but also as a couple, to ensure that your ideas are compatible with each other. Culture, sports, professional life, social life, love life<\/a>... During the first few months after a birth, the couple must resolve to agree to disagree over some things, and thus be able to make choices which will save everyone energy.\u201d<\/p>

#3 Cheers for flexibility!<\/strong><\/p>

\u201cIt is the most flexible structures that are the most resistant.\u00a0To overcome difficulties, and enjoy the pleasures that come with the birth of a child, the couple must acquire the backbone of the reed, which \u201cbends but does not break.\u201d\u00a0For this, parents must know how to base their decisions on the levels of demand, and the expression of each other\u2019s needs.\u201d<\/p>

#4 Empathize<\/strong><\/p>

\u201cEmpathy, the ability to put oneself in the place of another, with kindness, is a key component that will develop the relationship of the couple.\u00a0The important thing is to communicate, talk and most importantly, listen. We must lift the veil on the first tremors before they become an earthquake that begins to attack the very foundations of the new family.\u201d<\/p>

#5 Dare to ask for help<\/strong><\/p>

\"It sounds simple, but it is not a natural instinct for many people.\u00a0Learning to ask for help is not exactly everyone\u2019s cup of tea. Most often, mainly for cultural reasons, women are the ones that support many of the tasks related to this new life, and paradoxically, it is they who are less able to express their needs to their partner. As a result, they simply wait, convinced that their partners knows what they have to do, without them having to ask. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness.\u00a0If difficulties persist, and both members of the couple agree to it, consulting a therapist to sort this out can also be beneficial.\u201d<\/p>

#6 Raise the issue of sexuality<\/strong><\/p>

\u201cIt is quite normal that getting intimate with each other is put into a difficult patch during the first few weeks after a birth, but this is nothing irreversible.\u00a0It is important to be aware that life will never be the same, because spontaneity is less possible, but also important to talk and share your desires with one another, especially to get back the lightness and playfulness in sex to\u00a0reawaken desire<\/a>.\u201d<\/p>

#7 Become a team<\/strong><\/p>

\u201cI am not saying that you have to avoid conflicts and divergences at all costs, but try to identify on a particular topic together. In this period of reorganization, the parental team needs to move in tandem.\u00a0Taking sides against each other will not ever help things improve, show solidarity as a couple instead.\u00a0\"<\/p>

#8 Make time for the two of you<\/strong>
\u201cDo not feel obliged to leave immediately after birth without your baby.\u00a0This may require more or less time depending on the individual. Do not live under the illusion that you will be able to leave for a romantic week in the Seychelles to rediscover each other, but make sure to recreate a bubble where it is just the two of you.\u00a0It makes more sense to invest in the place you live your daily life, in order to define a space for intimacy inside a house invaded by baby business.\u00a0To come together, it is in the everyday spaces that the couple has to re-learn the foundations of intimacy, sensuality, the sensory and sexuality.\u201d<\/p>

#9 Inventing your own family<\/strong><\/p>

\u201cHaving a child is to create a family, and therefore inevitably to juggle the heritage and traditions of each family of origin, especially when it is a mixed couple.\u00a0Difficulties may occur right from the choice of the baby\u2019s name at the time of the announcement.\u00a0The couple must be creative to invent their own rituals and traditions which are appropriate, in their own way.\u201d<\/p>

3 Mistakes to Avoid after the baby is born
<\/strong>- Wanting to do too much.\u00a0The risk?\u00a0The excitement, then the disappointment, and the following resentment (from not having these expectations met), and the resulting disputes.
- Rivalry and competition within the couple.
- Underestimating the role of fatigue\u00a0in the first three months, which Bernard Geberowicz called \u201cthe madness of the first 100 days\u201d, because it significantly lowers our tolerance levels.<\/p>

Interview by Fabienne Broucaret<\/em><\/p> ","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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