Does the platonic ‘office spouse’ exist?
As the stress of everyday life and the perpetual routine continues to haunt us…fortunately, at work, we have a comforting companion: the office spouse.
The office spouse is more than just a colleague. He is a small treasure that helps us cope with unexpected daily situations and thus sustains us throughout the day. Does that sound a tad dubious? Well, the benefits of these relationships originate from the United States and have recently been gaining in prominence.
Who is the office spouse?
As stress and work load mounts and tensions between superiors and colleagues arise, loneliness becomes a pressing issue in the office. To overcome these issues, a new man has emerged: the office spouse. He is a colleague with whom we get along well. He’s probably married, or at least has a life outside of work. It is with him that we begin to strike conversations; the frequency increasing each day. One thing leads to another – from passing folders to having lunches – and soon we build our trust in him and vice versa. As the trust continues to build, we then end up behaving like a couple. Briefly, the office spouse is a valuable confidant that we enthusiastically converse with in the office, thereby making office life more enjoyable and easier.
Why would a man be an office spouse?
Because it is better of course! Though, it is not about eyeing the first man you come into close contact with. There are some advantages to having a very good male friend. First, he brings a nonchalant vibe that is completely complementary. At work, men and women do not always hold the same views, behaviors or objectives. Men do not consider contracts, issues, meetings and relationships in the same light as we do. Moreover, his opinion is not the same for life in general either. Therefore, the office spouse forges a relationship that is only for the best. We reflect, we analyze, we support each other to understand or to resolve problems. Put two together and we create a stronger force, especially after we have known each other for a long time.
When intimate issues are addressed (“my love will not stop saying this, forget it”), the husband gives us his decent office boy look, far removed from someone with a girlfriend. To be honest, the girlfriend will always exist in our minds. Still, the office spouse places the events in a masculine context which enlightens our day (and our relationship) in an unusual, quirky and oh so informative manner. Now, that is a real breath of fresh air!
Herein, we explain what women want. With our office spouse, the daily job earns a brighter space, a space where we can be confident, where we can listen and learn to understand each other. In this way, we then understand ourselves better as well.
Is this for real or is there something fishy going on?
Yes, it is true. As with any man-woman relationship, a mutual attraction can blossom. However in this case, it remains contained, controlled and platonic. It may also be an unconscious attraction, which does not equate to finding a new love. It is vital to not put our (external) relationship at risk, or flirt shamelessly in front of the entire office. The office spouse is a safety valve to help us cope better in a hostile environment. There should exist no qualms about half-open Pandora’s boxes or lurid temptations. If there is a guy we like in the office and with whom we want to be intimate with then he is no longer an office spouse but a lover. The two should never be confused.
And if I ever smell a rat?
Exactly, the office spouse is not akin to a real husband with whom we share the house, the kids, the dog and the garden. With your husband, if something awry arises then it may become a catastrophe where your whole life can be questioned. However, with the office spouse, the situation is not as extreme. You may always diverge from the current office spouse and choose to not continue the relationship and in that sense find another office spouse. You should know how to get the most out of the office spouse relationship and above all, it should be light and constructive.
What do we do if tongues start to wag?
Cut short any rumors that are spreading but do it intelligently and not upfront. Talk about your real husbands or lovers and stress on their qualities, making it clear that there is no one like him in your lives. Moreover, we stress on the professionalism that exists in the working office and how it is separate from our private lives. This subliminal message has the merit of clarifying the situation: I have a lover but that does not prevent me from having a fun partner at the office.
