Testimonials: Why these mothers can't bear letting go
They admit they are addicted to their little ones and are struggling to find a balance between protecting them and letting them do their own experiments. Here are the testimonials of these mothers.
"I WANT TO GIVE HER ALL I DIDN'T HAVE"
Naomi, 42, consultant, three sons of 15, 11 and 7 years old, and a girl of 3 years.
"I work at home to combine work and family life. Having a girl after three sons makes me super happy. During the first time, I worked so hard that I missed my son's first steps. For the last of my children I want to live through the entry of her kindergarten life and playtime. Around me, I have only forty-something year-old friends who can't get pregnant, so I don't brag about my happiness. That's my only daughter, I want to give her everything I didn't have. After Elena, who will do the fairy colouring while I'm in a video conference? Who will ask me how a doll made its way to her for Christmas? She walked slightly later and she loves pink, so everything is rosy in her room, even the curtains and shoes. At 3 years old, she still has a bottle, and a blanket, so I'm in no hurry to see her without it. I was very focused on being a parent with career, entrusting the household to a housekeeper. My mother is no more a grandmother than she was a mother. In a way, I feel like I'm repairing my own childhood. "
"HE GAVE US LIGHT IN OUR LIVES"
Sybille, financial analyst, 43, with a son of 18 years, a 16-year-old daughter and 6-year-old son.
"We were not considering a third child until my husband had a serious health glitch. When his health was restored, we wanted a fresh start. I was 36 years old when the desire for a baby was manifested. During my pregnancy, my elders and my husband said it would be too much trouble, because of my age. When Martin was born, my children were amazed. He gave us light in our lives. He's the center of the world to us. He walked at two and a half years and we could not even see where the problem was. When the teacher told us we should go to the speech therapist, we thought she was overreacting. I can't live without him. Pyjama parties are not an option. A birthday pool party is okay to go, but he's not allowed to swim. I even dreamed he had to repeat kindergarten. In the family, nobody calls him by his first name. It's always "my baby", "sweetheart", "little buddy", "my love". He's always fed up about it!"
"SHE'S THE GLUE THAT BOUND OUR FAMILY"
Céline, editor, two sons of 22 and 19 years, and a girl of 10 years.
"Joan is my only daughter and is also the child of my second marriage, the fruit of our love. Quickly separated from my first husband, I had my children in the first marriage and they were only 4 and 2 years old. There was the benefit of it happening early but also the stress of separation for weekends and holidays. My husband also has been through a divorce before we met and saw his other son only every two weekends. What I enjoy is having this little one full time. Joan is the cement of our stepfamily. Her older brothers, her father and I support her in everything she loves, including skating, museums, workshops and cartoons. In the evening, there is the ceremonial hug, relaxation and reading time. I try to make my time with her last by buttering her bread, accompanying her to bike to school, to pick out her clothes for the day."
"TO SEE HIM GROW UP, IS TO SEE ME GROW OLD"
Myriam, 44, humanitarian program manager, three girls of 22, 15 and 13 years, and two sons of 18 and 9 years.
"I am young at heart and the ideal confidante; this is not the opinion of my children. Younger, I was like my mother, centered on my job, my hobbies, and I was very involved in sculpting and painting. With the latest Florin, I'm the opposite. In the morning, I dress him and in the evening I give him a bath...he's only 9 years old. Sometimes he protests, throws me the occasional "But I'm a pre-teen!" My husband also reacts and laughs it off. With this little one, I easily give in. I keep his toys and stuffed animals, in case one day he would like to have them again... On the walls of his room, Florin wants to paste posters of football stars, but I put up his little drawings. To see him grow is to see me grow old. With the addition of school, friends, etc. I have trouble accepting that eventually I will not be at the heart of his life. "
"I CAN'T ENTRUST HER WITH ANYONE"
Dominica, station manager, 43, a 16-year-old girl, an 11-year-old son and 3-year-old daughter.
"From other seniors, I was told "Enjoy while you can, it passes too fast," while I was anxious for my older children to grow. For the youngest, on the contrary, I made it my mantra. Whatever she says, whatever she does, I hope it doesn't go too fast. I have less patience than before but I'm cool. I cannot entrust her for even a weekend to my mother. My husband and I got married after birth and the honeymoon, we did not always have... Before, Thibault and I were leaving each other occasionally. I thought that with the third child, I would be lapped. Instead, we take her everywhere with us. However, our relationship has strengthened, and we are preserving moments of exchange and intimacy when Josephine is laying with us. She's the baby of the bunch after all, and marks the end of my fertility. When my parents have left her nursery and she's resting there, I rejoice. Recently, I noticed that her feet touched the bottom of her little bed so ouch, we'll have to get her a new bed!"
Valerie Rodrigue and Nur Syazana H.
