What is hiding behind our “comfort” reflexes?
To reassure themselves, the little ones have their blankets. The adults, however, have to settle for a part of their own bodies to feel secure. Find out what these automatic reflexes mean.
Our little behavioural habits confirm this:
Touching, massaging, scratching...these are some of the easiest ways to reassure yourself and destress. These fads, though innocuous, are sometimes comparable to monkeys observed by primatologists: under stress, they scratch more vigorously. Our “anchoring” actions, when our hands cling to our ankles and neck, have the same objective: to protect us from a sense of real or perceived insecurity. To our unwilling bodies, we speak of a need, a "magic" ritual to hold ourselves together and not fall into the hole dug by anxiety," says psychologist Joseph Messinger, specialist in nonverbal communication.
I fiddle with my neck:
Pinching the skin of the neck or gently massaging it can calm yourself down by lowering the tension of the cranial nerve and decreasing heart rate.
I wrap my hands around my throat:
In addition to fear, this attitude can also reveal a superstitious kind of temperament.
I suck or nibble on my fingers:
This anxiolytic reflex - also practiced by primates and lemurs – brings us back to the innate gesture of babyhood, since we may be used to sucking thumbs before we were even born. A similar reflex, seemingly "less regressive", is to run one’s thumb under the fingers and then enclosing it in a fist, said psychologist Marco Pacori.
I caress my face or arm while talking:
The caressing reflex is not necessarily the sign of emotional deficiency symptoms, but rather a sign of self-esteem, creativity and our ability to love. It can also be interpreted in a woman as a signal of openness and interest, explained Joseph Messinger, especially if the person we speak to pleases us...
I clasp my hands behind my back:
This self-embrace diminishes the need for someone else’s arm to surround us.
I cross my arms and feet over each other:
It is a gesture, mainly defensive. It is also a sign of caution, if arms are not pressed too high on the chest, and elbows not too close to the body. However, when the elbows are placed tightly clenched to the body, this especially expresses our nervousness or anxiety. The reflex action becomes an subconscious way to "embrace yourself to feel better," says Marco Pacori. It can also mean the subconscious desire to protect your chest, symbolically linked to confidence and self-esteem, observed Joseph Messinger.
I grip my forearm, my shoulders, my elbows ...
This anchoring nerve reflex, if recurrent, also betrays the emotions and fear of failure, or some sense of averseness to challenges. This is one gesture to strictly avoid in professional life...
Isabelle Song
