How to be happy: Advice from Tal Ben-Shahar

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1. Your happiness depends on…
You, but not only you! On average, we consider 50% is genetic, 10% depends on outside circumstances and 40% can be attributed to our individual choices. By choice, it is necessary to understand the small and big decisions we take in our life. For example, our career choices, but also how we breathe, we stand, the perspective we have on life events, and so on. So many daily micro-choices have a crucial impact.
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2. Knowledge is not enough
Every day, studies are conducted on the benefits of sports or a balanced diet. Do sports release serotonin and dopamine, two neurotransmitters that influence mood? Even when we know the advantages, we don't follow the recommendations! Contrary to the thoughts of philosophers, such as Socrates, knowledge is not enough to instigate change.
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3. Routine is key
Brushing our teeth in the morning and evening is a ritual that does not require any self-discipline. This same principle must be adopted in order to bring about change in your life. Which rituals would you like to introduce and which would make you happier? It can be sport-related, to meditate for 15 minutes each morning, go to the cinema twice a month, or to go out with your spouse…
When you have identified your ritual, register them in your diary and start doing them. Only through the process of routine can change begin. For example, to become more grateful, it is necessary to express your gratitude on a daily basis. Happiness is learned by routine, much like learning to play a musical instrument.
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4. 30
This is the number of days required to settle into a new routine. For example, after a month of practice, a sports activity will become the norm.
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5. We need reminders
To keep your objective in mind, find a small object that will make you think about it over the course of a week or a month. Personally, I wear a bracelet to remind me to be more attentive to my children. I have been stressed by work during the last few months, so the bracelet helps exercise more benevolence.
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6. Success does not lead to happiness
Many people think that financial or professional success will bring them happiness. This is wrong. One researcher asked professors if they knew whether their university committee would give a permanent job. Everybody thought this would make them happy for the rest of their life. However, when asked six months later, those who were happy before continued to be happy, regardless of professional success. Those who were unhappy remained unhappy. The effect of any professional achievement was temporary.
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7. Happiness comes with variables
For some, happiness is situated in their career, while others find it in the family or voluntary help. Everything depends on the perspective you have of your life. One thing is for certain: happiness is not constant. If you look for this, you will be unhappy all your life.
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Meditation
Meditating every day modifies the way our brain works. We become more open and more susceptible to positive feelings.
Meditation is practised bust straightened, cross-legged, hands opened on the front of the thighs. The breath and the wide opening of the rib cage allow us to maintain a back straight and reduce tension (at the trapezius muscles and loins areas). “Unfortunately, 50 percent of people do not succeed in maintaining the right posture and in meditating comfortably”, notices Caroline Lambert. The chiropractor recommends buying a meditation bench of 10 cm height or to prop up two pillows under the buttocks. The pelvis falls over forwards and the position is easier to maintain naturally with real benefits for the back when the practice is regular.
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9. Generosity yields happiness
Helping others has beneficial effects for both the giver and the receiver. A study was conducted whereby all the employees in a company received a present. In the second scenario, they received the same amount of money to buy a present for one of their colleagues. More positive effects were found in the second case, notably in team spirit.
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10. Stand up!
The way you stand up is not anodyne. Try "power posing ". The idea is simple: before meeting an interlocutor, stand up by keeping your arms raised towards the sky by forming the V for victory. Or vary it: stand up, place your hands on each hip (called the "Wonder Woman" posture) or behind the head, as a cigar smoker. These gestures give the impression of a winner. According to a study, standing in one of these positions for two minutes increases testosterone levels by 20% and reduce cortisol levels, the hormone of stress, by 10%.
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11. Express your gratitude
People who know how to express their gratitude are happier and more optimistic. Every evening before sleeping, you can write or enumerate in your head three elements that have illuminated your day. For example, a dinner with family, a good film or a meeting. By doing this exercise regularly, recognizing sources of happiness will become automatic.
Another idea is to write a letter of gratitude to someone. It will have very positive effects, not only for the recipient, but also for you. It is not only about saying thank you. You have to go into details, to give concrete examples of what positive thing this person said or did for you. You will soon see that gratitude is contagious.
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12. Happiness and religion
There are, of course, very happy non-religious people and unhappy religious people. However, on average, religion helps promote happiness. It has three virtues:
- Regular expression of gratitude
- Giving a sense to life
- Spending time within a community with similar people.
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13. Make time for yourself at the office
Every day, take a few minutes before starting work and answer this question: What am I going to do well today? What can I be proud of?
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14. Do not be afraid to fail
The most successful researchers and artists all failed before achieving success. The true question is how we consider this defeat: is it a disaster or an opportunity to learn? Here is the sentence I often repeat to my children: "learn to fail or fail to learn". For me, this is the basis of a happy life.
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15. Teach gratitude to children
Since my children learned how to speak, I ask what they enjoyed most during their day. I do not use, naturally, the words of gratitude, as they are too abstract. They are free to say something or not. Over time, it has become a ritual in the same way as brushing their teeth.

When he first began at Harvard, there were only eight students in his class. “Two gave up along the year”, he likes to remind us. The next year, thanks to word of mouth, there were 300, followed by 900 in the third year, then more than 1400. Since then, Tal Ben-Shahar has become a star, giving conferences all over the world. He also teaches the art of happiness via a Massive Open Online Course (MOOC), which is appreciated greatly, worldwide.

Fabienne Broucaret

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