Expert’s opinion: “We retain a youth that others do not want to see.”
Some women simply don’t want to grow old. We seek the opinion of Jean-Claude Kaufmann, sociologist and specialist in daily life and identity.
Jean-Claude Kaufmann, sociologist, gives us her opinion on the subject of women and aging.
How does this propensity of the individuals to feel more and more out of step with their age translate?
Jean-Claude Kaufmann: It corresponds to the fact that we are more and more layered! On the same day, we can get dressed, speak and think in a different way. For example, at work, we can be totally in control, then be completely absurd, funny and playful with friends and laugh in our relationship. The identity is not fixed, it is always moving.
Does society accept this multiplication of facets?
If, in our head, we have uncountable identities, exchange with others offer a different reality. We retain a youth that others do not want to see. Then, everything is a question of balance and style. When a person in her 40s takes up surfing, her novice status combined with her age can yield scoffing from others, and she can feel discouraged. But if she hangs on, she can arouse admiration. Society is an assessor; competitive and cruel. We evaluate each other, and the only way of getting out there is to downgrade others. Thus, everything that does not follow the standard is examined closely. In summary, it is an eternal fight between the age you are in your head and other people’s opinion of your age.
What is the risk to yourself?
The only risk is believing too much in the idealised image. On the one hand, it is good to refute the inevitable compartmentalising status of adult life but on the other hand, it is important to be aware that society, which gives you your age, is right.
Are there key moments in life?
There are milestones – 30, 40, 50 years, etc. – when we become aware of our age. This activates the feeling of a gap between the mental and physical. People who feel younger mentally will enjoy a breakup in their life (loss of an employment, a partner, etc.) to live their freedom, and recapture their youth.
Marie Le Marois
Read also:
Testimony: “A 40 year-old woman is mature, confident; the opposite of who I am.”
Testimony: “Now that my children are adults, I live as if I am 30.”
