Micro-Cheating in Marriage: What is it and can it affect your relationship?
Micro-cheating is the latest buzzword in the world of relationships and marital talk. However, should it be a cause for concern?
In 2018, the lines between fidelity and cheating are, well, somewhat blur. The latest buzzword to go viral in the world of relationship and marriage talk? Micro-cheating.
If you’re absolutely clueless to the concept, here’s what micro-cheating is: seemingly harmless behaviours that count as cheating or infidelity – albeit a ‘minor’ version of. These actions can range from talking to an ex without your partner’s knowledge or following someone attractive on Instagram.
But wait… are you guilty of it?
If you’re conflicted on how you feel about micro-cheating, you’re not alone. Unlike cheating, which involves being blatantly physically unfaithful, micro-cheating falls into that tricky ‘grey area’.
To discern whether something counts as micro-cheating or not, relationship coach Jillian Turecki suggests asking yourself this: Would you be acting the same way if your partner was sitting right next to you? She explains, “Anything that’s done on the sly or is not (consistent) with who you are in front of your (partner) is a problem.”
Why it’s not as innocent as it seems
So if either you or your partner are guilty of micro-cheating, should you sweep it under the rug or is it a relationship deal-breaker?
According to Tammy Nelson, author of The New Monogamy: Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity, micro-cheating is not harmless as you might think, considering it essentially “creates small opportunities for affectionate behaviours outside your relationship”.
So while there is no cheating involved technically, it could still very well add up and lead to an actual physical affair.
Dealing with micro-cheating in your relationship
Finding out that your partner is guilty of ‘micro-cheating’ can be hurtful – we get that. However, acknowledge that in the larger scheme of things, micro-cheating is a minor misstep in your marriage.
Rather than getting upset, have an open and productive conversation about it and why it hurts you. After all, if either you or your partner are guilty of some degree of micro-cheating, it could be symptomatic of a greater dissatisfaction or issues your marriage which you need to iron out.
Sarah Khan
Photo: Getty Images
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