Sleeping in Separate Beds: Could it save or break your marriage?
Is there such a thing as too much space in a relationship?
Trust, commitment and intimacy: these are the few cornerstones of a healthy, successful marriage.
As it turns out, so is space; as evident from the growing number of couples opting to sleep separately, either in different beds or completely different rooms. And yes, this holds true even in Asia (although there are no official numbers to back up how prevalent the trend is).
Why? Snoring, overactive sleepers, different temperature preferences, and also conflicting sleep and wake times are some of the common reasons cited by couples who choose to sleep independently.
Understandably, not everyone is on board with the idea, with many couples feeling like it’s a serious marital red flag. Relationship experts are also divided on the trend, although they do concede there are valid pros and cons to sleeping separately from your partners.
SLEEPING SEPARATELY: WHO IT MIGHT BENEFIT
For couples with incompatible sleeping habits and patterns and a mutual need for space, a separate sleeping arrangement could greatly improve your marriage. Getting ample rest without having to sleep with a chronic snorer or bed tosser allows you a better night’s sleep and more “me time”, which will spare you those feelings of irritation and resentment towards your partner.
NO MORE INTIMACY? NOT NECESSARILY
If you’re considering a separate sleeping arrangement, but are worried what it might mean for your intimacy, consider this. While sharing a bed undoubtedly helps build emotional comfort and intimacy that is necessary for a healthy relationship, sleeping side-by-side with your partner is not the only way to achieve that.
There are ways you can still foster intimacy and healthy communication into your marriage, whether it’s through regular date nights and morning or nighttime routine specially for cuddling and sex.
In fact, many couples with separate sleeping arrangements admit to having better sex lives. After all, it is likely that it’s easier to be intimate with your partner when you have your own private space, as it removes the pressure of being constantly physically together.
However, as much as personal space is healthy for relationship, this “need for space” should ring alarm bells if you both feel the need to constantly be alone and apart from each other. If that is the case, there may be underlying relationships that need to be addressed.
THE VERDICT
Ultimately, the reality is that all marriages are unique. After all, bear in mind people have different attachment styles, and the ideal sleeping arrangement may vary greatly from couple to couple. There is no cookie-cutter approach to marriage; what works for you and your partner may not be someone else’s cup of tea – and that is absolutely okay.
Sarah Khan
Photos: Getty Images
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