How to skive in the office without getting caught

How to skive in the office without getting caught?

Chloé Belleret

01 Jul 2015

updated the 6 June 2016 à 12:14

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Lock your territory
Your office seat is your war position. From scampering in when you are late to clicking an Excel sheet over your Facebook page, the constant looking over your shoulder will give you a neckache for sure.

Can everyone see your screen? Build a fortress of green plants, says Guy Solenn. Now no one can see you watching a cute kitten video for the Nth time.
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Do the same with your office
The advantages of having your own office room are endless. Keep your door ajar to encourage co-workers to come in but there is still enough of a barrier to keep people out. You might even be able to catch a few Zzzzs after work.
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Optimise your tasks
Do you have a tax return to complete or a saga of Farmville to finish? Expend your energies on bigger tasks and leave menial tasks to your subordinates. For Anne Caroline, a jurist of 52 years, the secret lies in doing the right work at the right time. Never be too early or too late. Don't be afraid to share your work with your colleagues or your intern.

However, do not end up like Bob, an American engineer who made use of his workers as subcontractors to surf the internet. Now he has a lot of time to laze around... at home.
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Look important
When you make yet another phone call or smoke your fifth cigarette of the morning, always carry a folder with you. "Cross the corridor in a hurry with an assured high forehead and eyes gleaming," advises Guy Solenn, our expert. If necessary, slam your pen but not your high heels, the noise would be too identifiable.
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Make believe
Do you need to leave the office 1/2 hour earlier? Just make sure to leave some remnants to make it seem like you are still there.

From a similar bag to piles of folders. You'll look like you are right there even though you're already on the terrace having a spritzer.
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Be super busy
To avoid suspicion, play the overbooked card. Gather piles of folders around your desk and black out 'fictional tasks'. Riddle your desktop with urgent and ASAP tasks. Lay one or two dirty cups near your computer and have loud conversations with one another on how busy you are.

As soon as your boss is in sight, pick up the phone and start talking even if no one is there on the other side. Highlight random sections of a document and frown to create a semblance of work.
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Don’t be afraid to take advantage
You always need to anticipate. Wait till your big boss arrives at the coffee machine before you go there to make coffee as well.

"In the office, the best defence is always offence." said Guy Solenn.

In a meeting pretend to look involved. Paraphrase or make things up as you go along.

Whoever knew that the art of looking like you are working is much tougher than you think. Well, we’ve got just the tips to help you master it.

Work is not without its down time. “Looking busy is a job too,” says Guy Solenn co-author of How to Skive at Work.

Success in the slacking career is not easy though. To last, you need to have a method, imagination, a total lack of shame and a knack for ubiquity. The perfect slacker can be there without being there while giving the impression of being there ( do you follow?).

If you don’t or you’re at a loss for words, we’ve gather some rather valuable pointers from Guy Solenn up above. Who knew work could be this good?

Chloe Bolleret

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How to skive in the office without getting caught?

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