How to talk to your man? The 5 mistakes to avoid in a relationship

How to talk to your man? The 5 mistakes to avoid!

Fabienne Broucaret

14 Jul 2015

updated the 6 October 2015 à 22:53

1/5
Being imprecise
If you're too vague, here's what might happen:

1. You might not get his attention

2. He will be reluctant to talk

3. He will convince you that it's not worth talking about

4. He will want to postpone the discussion until later.

In all these cases, you will rightly feel disturbed.
Don’t say, "How did it go at work today?", to which his answer will probably be, " Very good! ". Instead, say, "Darling, did you finally settle your dispute with your boss? Did it work out as you imagined?"

To talk to a man and get him to have a long conversation with you and share his emotions, ask him direct questions on specific topics. Don’t use hints, tactics or anything that you think is implied.
2/5
Focusing on the negative
Before discussing what's wrong, first insist on what’s really good. As much as a woman needs small marks of attention to feel loved, a man needs to feel that one has confidence to achieve their full potential.
Trusting someone requires you to believe he can use his resources and he does his best. When a man feels that you have confidence in him and you appreciate his efforts (even if the results don’t live up to expectations), it becomes aware to the person who trusts him.
The man who loves and who feels competent is appreciative to the person he loves.
3/5
Speaking for him
When women interrupt and speak for them, men have the impression that: Women like to play the role of the man’s mother and that they are unable to express themselves or have emotional disabilities.
You see again, that the paradox here is impatience. Wanting to help their partner express themselves emotionally, women block the men in their identification process and expression of their emotions. It's like helping your child with math homework by giving answers to the problems.
4/5
Only saying “You”
"You" implies the other, and makes him responsible or guilty of the situation. It also requests the other to change: it's not okay to be late, it's your fault and you should stop being late.
In addition, a message punctuated with "You" disempowers the person speaking: it is not my responsibility if I'm frustrated and angry.
To have effective communication, you must take responsibility for your messages about changing your "You" to "I". The use of "I" in conversation is certainly more emotionally involving, but it facilitates reconciliation and intimacy between two people.
"Us" and "We" are used to hide your own emotions while usage of "You" is accusing, causing an erect wall of misunderstanding between people.
5/5
Alternatives to verbal communication
Touch him, hold his hand, move closer to him or touch his arm.
Take him in your arms and you will create a sense of intimacy and trust that will allow your man to change his purely logical and analytical thinking to be more sensitive and vulnerable.
By being physically closer to him, he will be more open emotionally.

Communication is undoubtedly one of the most important elements in a couple’s relationship. Psychologist Yvon Dallaire explains the five keys to communicating effectively.

Honey, tell me! “Throughout my thirty five years of practice in marital therapy, the main gripe I have often heard from women about men is that they do not communicate enough and are not open to dialogue,” says psychologist Yvon Dallaire.

Author of 10 Strategies for Talking to Your Man: Successful Communication Between the Couple, he explains in the slideshow above the pitfalls to avoid for better communication.

Fabienne Broucaret and Nur Syazana H.

Suicide Squad: Watch Jared Leto's brutal Joker in new...

Why do we open our mouths when applying eye makeup?

How to talk to your man? The 5 mistakes to avoid!

React to this post Cancel reply