Happiness: 5 Keys to being happy in life!

March 20 was the International Day of Happiness; this year, celebrated by the singer Pharrell Williams with the song “Happy”. In its second annual report on the happiness in the world, the United Nations has established six criteria of happiness: GDP per capita, life expectancy, generosity, the absence of corruption, the possibility of having someone to count on and the feeling of freedom to make one’s own choices.

But, really, how are happy people actually happy? This question drives Sophie Machot, former press secretary, converted certified trainer and coach in human relations. Founder of the blog “Focused on Happiness”, she has just published a little guide, aptly called “Cultivate your Happiness” (Eyrolles, about USD16.40). It is beautifully illustrated, buzzing with optimism and filled with humour.

Her motto: “Being happy requires daily work, loving care and deep motivation.” Her method? Grow your happiness like a garden: Sow, water, harvest and enjoy! She gives us 5 tips on how to become happier every day.

#1 Take control of your life

You must stop shirking responsibility for your choices (this is not always the neighbour’s fault!). The only variable factor that we always have control over is our choice of reaction to an event that happens to us, be it positive or negative. Happiness is not a goal, but a path we tread every day, a path that requires self-confidence and optimism. And even more importantly, we must allow ourselves to be happy.

#2 Slow down

Do not let your energy get sucked by a society that is always speeding ahead of you. Slowing down allows you to stay connected to the present moment, to others, but also to whom we really are. It is also a way to enjoy what we already have.

#3 Benefit from the 3 spices in your life

…love, laughter and sharing!

#4 Adopt the BOFITA strategy

Faced with an event, you must:

Breathe Take two or three deep breaths. This will “aerate” your brain, and allow it to create a short time-space for reflection. When you hold your breath, you will end up only amplifying and dramatizing the tragic nature of the situation.

Observe Ask yourself a couple of questions on your emotional state to fully accept what is happening.

Feel How does this emotion translate in your body? Are your legs trembling, does your throat feel tight?

Identify Behind every emotion, there is a need that is being expressed. If you feel angry, is it because your need for recognition is denied? Likewise, our fear alerts us to our need for security, and our frustration to our need for action, etc.

Transform Ask yourself: what is the most appropriate response? What resources do I need? Select your resource and transform your negative emotions with helpful and constructive ones. Overcome your anger with dynamism, your fear with audacity, your frustration with patience…

Act!

#5 Learn to say “I want, I want, I want!”

Make a list of 101 “I wants.” Why? Because we do not ask ourselves that question often enough to know what we really want. So let yourself go, listen to your dreams and set yourself free! This will open up a field of possibilities. Once a year, look back at this list, reflect on what you have done, observe whether your needs have changed, and fulfil your desires…

Fabienne Broucaret