Body language: 4 gestures that speak for us

Whether it’s our mood or the way we’re feeling – our body gestures are far from being insignificant and in fact tell a lot about our inner state of mind.

According to morphopsychologist and graphologist Martine Tardy, ‘The transmission of a message is based 55% on our gestures, facial expressions, physical appearance and posture while our words and intonation in voice count respectively for only 7% and 38%.

A good reason to remain aware when we do the following gestures:

We caress the back of our hand:

Caressing oneself often expresses our desire to be caressed by the person in front of us – or to seduce them – according to Joseph Messinger, psychologist specializing in symbolic gestures.

The catch: This usually applies to caressing the top of the left hand with the right (or vice versa), and thighs – while extending our hands flat on our jeans implicitly express a desire for sex. This is not to be confused with the act of caressing and massaging the neck, which on the other hand reveals a desire to take a step back before committing!

The positive point: the action of caressing often starts the process that awakens creativity…

We toy with our pen while talking:

Keeping the pen between our fingers and clinging on it while discussing is, according to Joseph Messinger, a ‘barrier gesture’. ‘Pressing vertically on the pen during the conversation is also a clear sign of competition and challenge,’ adds Marco Pacori, psychologist and specialist in verbal gestures.

The catch: This gesture expresses our willingness to intimidate. ‘The alternative’, says Joseph Messinger, ‘is to curl our index finger around the thumb (as if we are pressing on an imaginary trigger), which expresses our veiled desire to knock off the person who is facing us!’

The positive point: It demonstrates competitive and fighting spirit.

Say something while we smooth the corners of the mouth with the thumb and  forefinger:

The catch: This sign is meant to hide a ‘verbal fraud’ attempt, notes Joseph Messinger. Clearly, we are lying!

The positive point: It requires diplomacy. Let’s face it, concealment is sometimes necessary…

We instantly cross our arms and legs while talking to some people:

‘Crossing any part of our body is always a protection code of our mental territory, that is to say, confidence and self-esteem,’ Joseph Messinger analyses.

The catch: For security this double crossing is like an ‘armour’ that protects us from criticism. It is like a self defence mechanism. Other signs of self protection identified by Marco Pacori is playing with a ball of paper, a piece of bread or a keychain …

The positive: It keeps our aggressiveness in check and it shows that we are not easily fooled (in case someone is trying to manipulate us…).