Say it with your eyes: What does looking at people in certain ways mean?

Say it with your eyes: The way you look at people reveals a lot about you

MF editorial team

05 May 2014

updated the 7 October 2015 à 00:02

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I always look at my contacts right in the eyes.
A direct gaze is always positively associated with openness, reliability, confidence in itself. But be careful – maintaining direct eye contact for too long may be seen as a form of dominance or, worse, aggressiveness, says Sébastien Bohler, Ph.D. in neurobiology and journalist for the magazine Brain & Psycho. Videotaped experiments confirm this - people who maintain their gaze for longer and do not look away see and impose themselves as leaders, enjoy directing exchanges and influencing decisions. More subtly, gaze is also a tool of orchestration of the group – a slightly prolonged gaze, or one of slightly more emphasis on other of the participants is a strong signal to invite him to speak.
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During discussions, I use my fingers to rub my eyes like a handkerchief.
I rub the right eye with the back of the right index finger – this gesture perfectly “subtitles” the expression “cannot believe your eyes”, basically, displaying a sense of disbelief. If you do this with the left eye and left side of the index, it betrays a form of frustration induced by the things you are hearing or the situation experienced, according to psychologist Joseph Messinger, author of “Pour en finir avec vos tics gestuels” (Putting an end to your habitual gestures) (ed. Flammarion).
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When I listen carefully, I tend to squint or keep my eyes half-closed.
Squinting may be a spontaneous way to focus more intensely, but beware of misunderstandings – this reaction may be interpreted by the other party as a show of disapproval, warns Isabelle Duvernois, clinical psychologist*. The same goes for when you keep your eyes half closed – this may express a certain disinterest, fatigue or a mental block in the face of a stressful situation.
* Author of « Décoder le langage du corps. Attention, vos gestes parlent pour vous! » (Decoding body language. Note that your actions speak for you!) (ed. Larousse pocket).
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I cannot stop blinking … Is this normal?
Do not panic – it is impossible not to blink; we blink eight to fifteen times per minute on average to moisten our corneas. But frantic blinking may be a sign of discomfort or anxiety.
Conversely, a sharp, slow blink can betray a (mean) sense of superiority to the other party, or even boredom – you literally try to block the other persons out of your line of sight, states Isabelle Duvernoy. And how about winks? From the left eye, it speaks of collusion and complicity, from the right, of seduction.

I always look at my contacts right in the eyes.

Be it the “dagger stare” or the “puppy-dog eyes”, our gaze has an ability to be a display of power or a tool of seduction… We decode the language of the eyes.

There are a lot of expressions that are able to highlight or betray our statements – “The gaze is a tool of the eyes,” says neurobiologist Jean-Didier Vincent. Studies have also shown that not only do our pupils dilate spontaneously to something that interests us directly, but also before a person whose pupils are dilated. We decipher four common signals to better understand how our eyes “speak”.

Isabelle Soing

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Say it with your eyes: The way you look at people reveals a lot about you

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