Self-Discovery: How not to lose your sense of identity in motherhood

ashley

22 Sep 2017

updated the 24 September 2017 à 23:43

Being a mother doesn’t mean you need to lose your sense of identity.

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Set personal goals
One of the most egregious errors any mother could make would be making their children the focal point of their lives. Although it is crucial to nurture and shower your little one with love, playing the role of the doting mum can be draining and monotonous as the years wear on. Set personal goals that help you to step out of the mommy part for a while. Be it a marathon, or a career advancement, it's paramount to bear in mind that there's so much more to you than just being a mother.
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Find a hobby
Be it vinyl collecting, poetry writing or even trampolining, a hobby is something that you do for yourself. Taking the time to divert your attentions elsewhere by channelling your energy into an interest is a great way to cultivate self-growth. Motherhood inexorably fractures your identity as you begin to care more for your family than yourself. As noble as this pursuit is, neglecting yourself does you nor your loved ones any favours. Therefore, implementing your own personal interests each day helps you to develop a strong sense of self.
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Connect with old friends
It's true-motherhood can completely change a person. It's hard to come to terms with the fact that before you were a mother, you were a person who had aspirations, interests and even pet peeves! By reconnecting with old friends, seemingly trivial details like your favourite song may just remind you of your pre-mummy stage. This doesn't mean you have to go around rocking out to the punk music you used to jam to in your teen years! Instead, this crucial bonding time with your buddies helps you to gain a higher sense of self-awareness by placing things in another perspective.
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Set aside some alone time
We all need a break from the hectic stresses of our life. Sometimes when you feel stretched just a bit too thin, a therapeutic bubble bath or a solo shopping trip may be the answer. As enjoyable as spending time with your toddler can be, make sure your child understands that you deserve a break too. Ask your partner to chip in more when the strain has been hitting you too hard.
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Take time to read
Who said learning stops after school? Gaining knowledge is a life-long process that can be honed by reading! Not only does it transport you to a plethora of realms brimming with adventure, mystery and excitement, reading is an excellent way to sharpen your mind! Motherhood shouldn't stop you from pursuing knowledge and expanding your horizons.

Don’t get us wrong: motherhood is a beautiful thing. However, with all that it entails also comes the inevitable loss of self-identity. As much as you love spending time with your children, you may feel like you’re gradually beginning to lose fragments of yourself as your focus shifts towards your family and children over time. Truthfully, it can be hard to practice self-care when everyone else comes before you.

We’ve outlined 5 simple and effective tips in the gallery above to guide you on how you can retain your sense of identity during motherhood. These simple yet impactful ways could revolutionise your role not only as a mother, wife, daughter or friend but make you feel more connected to yourself than before. P.S. Do remember that being a great mother doesn’t mean that you have to lose yourself!

Ashley Anand

Photos: Getty Images

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