10 Effective tips to put your child to sleep

Kid Tricks: 10 Effective tips to put your child to sleep

MF editorial team

22 May 2016

updated the Sunday, May 22, 2016

1/10
Check the physical comfort of your child
Okay, it sounds obvious, but, is he hungry, thirsty or feeling warm? Does he feel wet or tight in his pyjamas? You must take everything into consideration, knowing that the most important thing is for the child to have a good, comfortable bed! Valérie Roumanoff recommends removing the bars from your child's cot as soon as possible, so that he "does not feel enclosed or separated from the rest of the world".
2/10
Master the crying bouts
The technique of "control crying" is to find a balance: do not leave him to cry (contrary to popular belief) or jump into action at the first tear. Valérie Roumanoff recommends gradually increasing the time before going to console your child. First, 5 minutes, then 10, then 15, etc. The child must know that he can rely on his parents for reassurance and we must in no case abandon his fears or discomfort.
3/10
Stay in his room without taking him in your arms
This is the technique of "camping out": the child learns to sleep without external intervention. But parents can rest assured; it is still possible to talk to him if he cries!
4/10
Don’t say no to “co-sleeping”
The technique of "co-sleeping" is "to let your child sleep with you in your bed every night until he prefers to sleep in his bed by himself". Controversial or downright dangerous for babies, this method still works occasionally for putting a child to sleep quickly after a nightmare. Based on several studies, Valérie Roumanoff claims that the presence of one parent allows children to have a serene and peaceful sleep.
5/10
Establish an evening ritual
This is necessary because "repetition is reassuring". The principle? "Develop a routine composed of several elements that always follow in the same order and at the same time of the day: take a bath, get into pyjamas, brush teeth, pee, lie down, listen to a story and sleep". The hypnosis trainer insists "not to rush the child", as this will stress him out and his anxiety will then prevent him from sleeping.
6/10
Listen to your child’s fears
They are not to be taken lightly. According to Valérie Roumanoff, "the first thing to do is to welcome his emotions, to listen, to acknowledge, to just say yes". Is he afraid of the dark? Install a night light or leave the door open to a lighted hallway. Is he afraid of sleeping alone? Buy a blanket or a doll to keep him company at night. This "transitional object" reassures your child and ensures he is not left alone, at night, in his bed.
7/10
Super-parents: be creative!
The best solution to fight the anxiety of a child would be to divert his attention: "You must distract him from his fears." Ask him to recount his day or discuss the planned activities for the next day. The hypnotherapist especially invites parents to be creative! To fight imaginary monsters, for example, will help keep your child's mind at ease.
8/10
Breathe in when your child breathes in, and breathe out when your child breathes out
The author recommends here to "sync" with the little one, in relation to his breathing, in order to convey a reassuring message: "I am with you." To do this, there are three possibilities: "Listen to his breath, watch his breathing (movement of the stomach and/or nostrils which inflate and deflate) and touch to feel his breath (hand gently resting on the stomach, the back or even the shoulder)".
9/10
Do not get angry!
"How can we hope to calm a child if we are not able to do it ourselves?" asks Roumanoff. Of course, everyone is tired - adults too! - and bedtime increases tensions. This is precisely why we must try to understand the situation. Why does he refuse to go to bed? Ideally, you should address him without aggression, take the time to listen to him and explain why it is so important for him to sleep. For example, "to be fit tomorrow so that you can play football with your friends."
10/10
Read them a magical story (if possible) every night
Reading your child a story each night is the perfect way for the little one to transition to the world of dreams. Valérie Roumanoff emphasises on this idea by using "fuzzy language" in her stories (based on the model of Milton Erickson, the father of modern hypnosis) that allows the reader to focus more "on the 5 senses to help in letting go and relaxing". The rate of reading is also important: punctuation marks indicate a place to "leave a long silence" before reading on. Read in a soft voice and add a little humour, and the story of the evening will end with a good big sleep.

Check the physical comfort of your child

If you have a problem putting your child to sleep, author Valérie Roumanoff has 10 tips for you to put into practice immediately. Good night!

Valérie Roumanoff has written a book that covers the fundamentals of getting your child to go to bed! Say goodbye to those dreaded evenings where you’ve exhausted yourself trying to make the little one settle down.

After the birth of her daughter, hypnotherapist and blog author of Drôle de maman, Valérie Roumanoff, wrote 20 stories designed to help small children fall asleep. She even explains exactly how to read them so that they are truly effective. Based on the language adopted in hypnotherapy, she employs the use of metaphors and calls on the child’s imagination to help them sleep. All her pieces of advice (for example, synchronised breathing and reading indications) are carefully detailed in her practical guide.

Among all the valuable tips Roumanoff has to give, here are 10 to put into practice immediately. And then, off to bed!

The tips introduced in this article come from Le marchand de sable va passer by Valérie Roumanoff, first edition, published in 2016.

Anaïs Petit

Photos: Getty Images

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