The top 5 keys to maintaining a long distance relationship

‘A common misconception that I’ve heard about long distance relationships is that the participants are settling- that for whatever reason, they can’t find someone to be together with in their own area, and so they settle for someone who lives not quite as close. It’s my opinion that we’re doing the exact opposite- not settling, but rather reaching.

Reaching for the person that you want to be with so badly, that you’d devote hours of your time to them, despite little to no physical contact. Reaching for the hope that someday you can be together and show to the world that it was worth the effort.’

– Unknown

Long distance relationships are getting more common, since the boom of social media and the fact that it’s just so easy to call or message someone who’s hundreds, or thousands of miles away.

In the past, it’d take weeks to get one exchange of letters through, and even though they were heartfelt and romantic, you can’t deny that it was a bother. Some skeptics say that ‘long distance relationships will never work’. But some people still think it’s worth it, and for those people, we have some advice for you.

1. Communication is the most important

Like in any normal relationship, communication is just as, if not, more important than anything. Long distance relationships can stretch from a few hundreds, to thousands of kilometers, and if there isn’t enough communication between you and your partner, things will get lost in the divide and may spiral downward very quickly.

If something is bothering you, tell them. If you want to ask them something important, don’t hesitate.

2. Express yourselves

Don’t ever miss a chance to tell them that you love them, or how much you appreciate them. Because of the distance, this is extremely important. Once doubt and insecurities creep into their minds (which is fairly easy) they will start becoming paranoid, or in the worst case, distant.

Schedule an allocated time every week for you and your partner to Skype, and tell them you love them. It doesn’t matter if it’s ‘mushy’. Sometimes, that is needed.

3. Send each other gifts and letters

Wherever you are, and wherever they are, they will need something to remind you of them. Handmade gifts are always a good choice, because store bought gifts sometimes lack that personal touch and sentimentality, since you can find them anywhere.

Making something with your own two hands, or at least writing a letter and attaching it to a gift you bought will make it feel more personal, and your partner won’t complain. Also, gifts don’t need to be sent only on special occasions like birthdays and anniversaries, sometimes it’s nice to surprise them with one out of the blue.

4. Don’t underestimate the power of Skype

Skype is free, and that is the best thing about it. You can keep your Skype calls PG-13 and talk about your days, or watch a movie together via Share Screen. Seeing each other on screens is more than enough to make yourselves feel closer to each other than simply calling on phones.

5. Always be honest

When you live so far apart from the person you love, sometimes we stumble and fall and make mistakes we regret. You may think the best way to deal with it is to hush it up. They’re so far away, how could they possibly find out, right?

Wrong! They can and will find out sooner or later, and when they find out on their own that you lied or didn’t tell them, the mess will be even bigger than it would have been if you had been honest and told them you had made a mistake in the first place.

Times are changing, and people are evolving alongside the advancements in technology, use it to your advantage and make the most out of your long distance relationship today.

Bernice Ng

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