Infidelity: Know how to re-establish communication to overcome adultery
Lindsay POUI-DIhttps://www.mariefranceasia.com/author/lindsay
updated the 14 July 2015 à 18:33
To find serenity as a couple it is essential to re-establish communication and to put an end to the silent treatment.
You believed for so long that you shared the same language. You understood each other so well and so on. Then there comes an obstacle and it is impossible for you to speak about it. However you managed the shock of the adultery and now you must talk about it. Get back on it. Question it. Answer the questions. The more the message is honest and sincere, the more you will get a chance to overcome the crisis. “Nevertheless, it is necessary to be careful, especially when you talk about the sexual details,” explains the psychiatrist. The answers of the unfaithful can indeed shock the deceived person and create disruptive images in her/his mind or create an inferiority complex. But it is still necessary to talk about it. The deceived person needs to have this conversation, not to punish, but to defuse the mystery in the relationship. It also helps her/him to feel more included in this history where he/she felt obviously excluded. Then, try to ask questions peacefully, by avoiding waking up the other one in the middle of the night, by knowing also when to keep silent to listen better, by expressing the way you feel and especially by not avoiding the fundamental questions. “What are your disappointed expectations from me?” “What did we give up for our relationship?” “Why did your desire for me fizzle out?” “What are we afraid about?” “Who am I for you?” And so on. If the words don’t come, do suggest seeing a psychologist – together or separately, but without ever imposing anything or each other.
