Testimony: What does it mean to be an adult?
updated the 14 July 2015 à 18:31The transition to adulthood is an important time in our lives. Two women share their complicated journey to adulthood with us.
“When I became a widow.”
Sophie, 44, sale representative, widow, two children.
“When I became a widow at 40 years old, I had to grow up. Especially as my husband had committed a suicide. Previously, I felt incapable of being anything other than an affectionate housewife and mother. I believed everything my husband said; I followed him blindly and lived outside of reality. In fact, I reproduced the model of my mother and recently I understood that I had tried to replace my father, who died when I was 20 years old, by marrying my husband at 25 years old. Overnight, I had to work and take care of my children’s education. This situation revealed who I am; a belligerent woman. I still do not feel completely self confident, but I no longer need someone to lead me, which is already an enormous strep. I do things that please me, for myself. I really became an adult one year ago when my anger subsided, against him and myself. But, as my daughter says, I am not sure of being completely an adult. At 17 years old, my daughter is very reasonable and I always over indulge in things that are bad for me. When I go out, I drink and smoke too much. In a way, I am a joyful widow who dances and laughs! I try to keep this light attitude as it is part of my personality.”
“The death of my mother.”
Mayeule, 42, teacher, married, two children.
“The turning point was the death of my mom. I understood that we should realise our dreams before it is too late. Two months ago, I gave up my hospital practitioner job to become a primary school teacher and live in the mountains. I feel like she encourages me and accompanies me in this way. I do not know if this is ‘being an adult’, but I feel like I have grown up. I do what I want, what I believe: a simple life in the nature, a life without career or social ambition and that is by working for me, my children, my husband, my house. My only ambition is to take life as it comes. I always thought that, but now I apply it for real. I feel that my existence is no longer dictated by a plan. I claim nothing and I have nothing to prove to anybody. It gives me a feeling of intense peace.”
Marie Le Marois
Read more from our ‘Being an adult’ set:
Testimony: When did we become adults?
Testimony: How we felt becoming an adult?
