Workaholic: “I thought suicide was the only exit”
updated the 14 July 2015 à 18:32Are you a workaholic? Take a read at the testimony of Elodie, 38-years-old, consultant in company management, in a committed relationship.
“I loved working. I didn’t count my hours and never said no to an additional file. It was an adrenaline rush and I climbed quickly through the ranks: junior, senior, team leader. When I could no longer handle my workload, I worked in the evening and weekend. Gradually, I became swamped by my passion, to the point of forgetting personal appointments and family events. Then my work began to suffer. I was a single woman (normal, I spoke only about work) and I felt guilty for being absent from my close relationships. I had permanent insomnia, but I was still unable to say no to my boss and, especially, to myself. I thought I had no choice; that without me the company would collapse and the inactivity would lead me to nothing. I had built my self-fulfilment on work, so what would happen if I was deprived of it? I envisaged suicide as the only exit. My doctor prescribed antidepressants and sleeping pills, which cushioned the fall, until the day I discovered the Association of Anonymous Work Addicts.
Finally, I could talk, without being judged, with people who shared the same problem. I could identify with their testimonies and find answers. I knew that the pressure came from my parents’ expectations of my success, the importance of the social status and the opinions of others. But by naming them, I released myself from them. Thanks to the tools used by the Association, I managed to organise better my time at work: listing my professional tasks, estimating the time required, multiplying it by two (before, I tended to underestimate it to give me the illusion that I could make everything), and defining my priorities. For the less urgent tasks, I learnt to delegate, postpone, even sometimes to never do it because I realised they were unimportant. I also learnt to do nothing one evening a week; a big first! The first two years were difficult; I felt guilty for doing nothing and, even if I didn’t work on the weekend, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I began to be happy when I joined a company that emphasises employee well-being. Four years later, I still go to the Association of Anonymous Work Addicts every Thursday, because I fear being engulfed again by my passion, and I help with newcomers. It feeds my initiative to find a sense somewhere other than at work.”
Marie Le Marois
Read more testimonies from our ‘Are you a workaholic?’ report:
Gabrielle: “It was as exhilarating as dope.”
Brigitte: “Today, I maintain my involvement, but without forgetting myself.”
