Shopping: I have a lot of clothes but I still want to treat myself!

You dream of coming up with a cute outfit, but all you see in your wardrobe are old and unfashionable clothes. You have decent pieces, but they are piled up, and when you open the door, everything falls out. In the morning, when you are deciding what to wear, you always choose the same safe outfit. Why do you have this feeling of having nothing to wear? How can you change your perception of the garments you have?

Elise Ricadat, psychoanalyst, questions your femininity, whereas Isabelle Thomas, personal shopper, helps reorganize your closet. Take note.

YOUR WARDROBE IS FULL

You have enough clothes to wear a different outfit every day for a year. Clothes, shoes, bags, you store a lot. As your closet is packed, you invade your boyfriend’s closet and stick shoes under the sofa. Because everything is piled up, compressed and curled up, you no longer know what you have. As soon as you make a stack of shirts, pullovers, pants, jackets and, below, an alignment of shoes, you will see instantly what your wardrobe comprises of. Beyond the contents of your wardrobe, the feeling of chronic dissatisfaction is overriding; thus presenting the following paradox: the fuller the wardrobe is, the more you feel that you have nothing. Elise Ricadat believes that your wardrobe tells the story of your narcissistic quest: “When you buy a garment, you buy a feminine ideal, an image, a fantasy. If you have the feeling that there isn’t a real woman under the garment, then the quest of the ideal clothes, meant to repair this identity weakness will be endless.”

SORT REGULARLY!

You know how to get rid of socks full of holes or those drag queen boots. However, this is not sorting but more of  “a sanitary evacuation”. What about those worn-out jeans you save for the weekends? Clothes that are too small for when you lose weight? Will you really want to wear old clothes or celebrate your weight loss with new clothes? Get rid of clothes that are too big. Be merciless with the pilled pullovers, the shrunken and/or yellowed T-shirts, the used, worn out, distended and cheap fabrics that were OK before but look awful now. What about designer pieces bought at a high price or in sales (the tempting good deal), which sleep in the cupboard still with the label affixed? Whether they are timeless basic items in excellent condition (keep them), or an exceptional purchase that you will have to revisit. Handbags are the signature of an outfit. So get rid of your battered bags. This is a real sort out. Now you can see more clearly and your closet can breathe a little.

KNOW HOW TO SHOP

Over the years, you have learnt what fits you well and what doesn’t. When the vendor assures you it is a must-have piece, you can say that it’s not good for you. However, you accumulate purchase errors. “The more I visit closets, the more I notice dullness”, notes Isabelle Thomas. Fancy is the art of daring to wear colour, or rolling up the bottom of a beautiful chino. However, it is also the art of knowing when it’s time to stop wearing younger clothes. Over the years, our appearance will change. The retro spirit works if you are Dita Von Teese, but can be awkward on anyone else. For Isabelle Thomas, “if you like the comfortable fabrics, you can find structured jackets in jersey fabrics – it will be smarter than a hooded jacket. And opt for Derbies over a pair of big sneakers”. You must adapt your outfit to suit your morphology, appearance and age. Another error is made by basing your purchase on a brand’s reputation. The notion of “high price = quality = belonging to the happy few group” is false. You can find a non-brand, well-cut, well-finished piece if you look hard enough. By making smarter purchases, you will be less of a slave to fashion and will spend less money.

WHY DO YOU GET BORED SO FAST?

In the store, under those lights and the compliments of the vendor, you felt unique in this neoprene dress. But once at home, the beautiful dress seems like a flat tire to you. It is going to end up at the back of the cupboard with all those other clothes which did not keep their promise. Why this disappointment? According to Ricadat, you have to look for a response to your femininity, as a missed meeting from mother to daughter. The vendor represents to your subconsciousness ‘the good mother’, the one who values and encourages femininity. Once removed from this situation, the narcissistically fragile woman is not going to like what she sees in the mirror. If the clothes are able to compress and age us, but also embellish us, this is where their magic power stops. They can’t replace the friendly support that was lacking in our childhood, nor that of an affectionate man. At the end of the day, a dress is just a dress.

In terms of our tendency to get bored quickly, Isabelle Thomas often detects difficulty in associating, diverting, inventing and having fun: “as if we could not depart from the vendor’s advice or from the outfit displayed in the front window. Yet, a jacket and a pants bought together can also be worn separately. Try new combinations and take photos to remember them”. You should never forget that, ultimately, fashion is a game so start having fun.

Valérie Rodrigue