Having the last word: Is it a game of authority?

Do women have the last word more frequently in their relationship?

Sophie Cadalen: It seems that a woman’s voice has become more and more audible and credible in the family and professional field over the last 40 years. Before the feminist struggle, women had no legal and financial power within the relationship. They had to bear the brunt of their husbands. Thus, the role and image of women have definitely changed considerably.

Have there been any repercussions on the intimate sphere?

S.C.: Yes. There is no more predestined fate; nothing is set in stone. The contemporary couple is seeking a just balance. Cliches explode and each tries to redefine one’s role with regard to one’s spouse.

Is the couple necessarily in a power balance?

S.C.: It is not about the balance of power, but rather a subtle game of domination, which is often an unconscious matter. Nowadays, this notion of power does not stop circulating from one to another, according to events and daily life situations. Sometimes one gets the upper hand, then it’s the turn of the other, and vice versa. This allows a rebalancing of power. Specifically, we are in full upheaval and redefining these roles plunge us into confusion, which may explain the significant number of separations and divorces.

So, evolution is not a good thing?

S.C.: The redistribution of power in the relationship is not obvious and can create some ambiguity. Eventually, women and men will succeed in creating a real equality; a kind of ‘conjugal democracy’ where each will reap some benefit. However, there will always be a power struggle, because it organises our relationship and, often, erotises our everyday life.

Stephanie Torre