Growing Pains: Parenthood challenges you might not have considered

When you first brought home that bundle of joy, you knew that parenthood wasn’t going to be a walk in the park. You had probably prepared yourself for the early days of having a baby – the sleep deprivation, the different milestones that you’d help them through in their early years, like learning to walk, talk, become potty-trained, and the like… However, few of us tend to look ahead and anticipate all the challenges that lie in store for us as parents, and some of them come to us a surprise when we get to them.

So, what kind of things might you face as a parent that you didn’t expect, and how would you deal with them?

Other people’s opinions on how you raise your child

As soon as you’ve had a baby, you’ll be bombarded by advice from every corner. People in the street, your mother-in-law, the next-door neighbour. Lots of people who’ve had kids (and even those who haven’t) will drop friendly hints and tips on how you should do things differently. You may not ask for any advice but you’re pretty sure to get it. The key is dealing with it in a way that means you don’t get offended or stressed by it, which many new parents do. And don’t expect this to tail off once your kids are a bit older – you’ll be proffered advice on your role as a parent for many years to come, so get used to it!

Accept that most people are only trying to be helpful and it costs you nothing to listen to their views, then decide whether you’ll actually act on any of the advice given. Sometimes, it will be good and useful advice, other times it won’t.

Disliking their friends

You can choose your friends, but you may not always be able to choose your child’s friends. And, it seems, that not all of us are delighted with the friendships our children make. In fact, according to recent research conducted for Voucherbox, the money saving website, 41% of parents dislike at least one of their child’s friends. Pre-schoolers have less of a say in who they play with and when; you probably handpicked their play-dates with care.

However, there’s not too much you can do about who your child hangs out with when they’re at school. You may not like the way the child behaves, or makes your child behave. In the survey of 2,000 parents, 29% said they would take action to discourage the friendship developing, but there’s a risk in doing this. By telling your child they can’t spend time with a certain friend, you’ll only make them more appealing. In this situation, it’s probably best to just accept who they choose as their friends and hope that they grow out of those early friendships as they become more discerning.

Choosing what they wear

Right, so you may have anticipated a few teenage tantrums about clothes, but a lot of parents are taken by surprise when their toddler gets enough word power together to tell them they’re “not wearing that!”. You’ll no doubt have seen other mums walking around the supermarket with their child in a Disney outfit or dressed as a superhero. While it might be that they’re on their way to a party, it may also be that that’s the only thing they’ll leave the house in.

You may look on and think ‘I’d never let mine do that’, but don’t speak too soon, your little darling may develop a strong sense of fashion at any moment.  And if it does happen to you, you have to decide how important it is for you to win the battle. If your child is really determined and you don’t want to face a fight every time they get dressed, you may decide that compromise is the better option to showing them who’s boss. Does it really matter if they’re dressed as a princess at the weekend as long as they wear their uniform to school?

If you’re lucky, you won’t face clothing wars until their teenage years, but you’ll probably have to deal with them at some point, so be ready with your strategy! Of course, there will be lots of other ups and downs in your journey through life as a parent, but that’s all part of the deal. Nobody ever suggested having kids was easy, and each time you overcome one of those unexpected obstacles, you’ll be able to appreciate the rewarding aspects of parenthood even more.

Photos: Getty Images

Sophie Milles

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