Parenting Pitfalls: 5 Parenting habits and behaviours to avoid
Here are 5 common parenting habits and behaviours to avoid to raise happy, successful kids.
1. Over-scheduling Kids
There are many great activities available for your child these days, like swimming or dance lessons, music classes – even for babies too! While these activities are incredible to your child’s holistic development, there is such a thing as too much of a good thing.
Over-scheduling your children with back-to-back activities all weekend (while well-intentioned) will only put your family in a perpetual rush mode, leaving you worn out, stressed and eventually cranky. Instead, pick one or two key activities a week for your child to engage in and do something leisurely the rest of the time, like hanging out at the park. This saves both your money, time and nerves! Happy mother, happy family, happy life.
2. Being a Helicopter Parent
Helicopter parenting, or over-parenting, has been a hot issue of discussion in recent parenting books and articles. Helicopter parenting means being involved in your child’s life in a way that is over-controlling, over-protecting and over-perfecting. In a way, this behaviour is excessive of responsible parenting.
If you want your child to successfully and independently manage life after high school without your hovering assistance, healthy habits need to be established before they turn 18. Instead, be a ‘submarine’ mom – stay close to your child in case of real danger, but mostly out of sight, so that they get out of the habit of running to you every time they encounter a problem.
3. Over-complimenting Your Child
Giving your child compliments when they’ve accomplished something (e.g. winning a spelling bee or a sports race) is a great habit to boost your child’s self-esteem. However, there’s a difference between appropriate complimenting and over-complimenting. Overly praising your child without objectivity, while not addressing any of their poor behaviour, is actually more damaging to them in the long run. The idea that they are special or always ‘a winner’ will eventually dissolve as they grow older and interact more with the real world. Your child might eventually observe that only you and your partner are the only ones thinking they’re great and begin to doubt your objectivity. When we rave too easily about our child’s accomplishments and disregard their poor behaviour, children begin to cheat, exaggerate and lie to avoid difficult reality.
4. Not Sharing Your Past Mistakes
If you are a parent of a teenager, candidly sharing your past mistakes and pitfalls with your teen is a helpful way to help them navigate life, instead of constant nagging and assuming a higher moral authority. Share with them the relevant mistakes you made when you were their age and how you overcame them to help them learn to make good choices (although avoid ‘negative lessons learnt’ that have to do with smoking, alcohol and such).
5. Not Practising What You Preach
As parents, it is our responsibility to model the life and habits you want your children to live. Be extra conscious of your little actions and choices that might be contrary to what you’re teaching and telling your child to do – because kids are very aware of these things.
Sarah Khan
Photo: Getty Images
