5 Signs your child might be a bully

Parent Concerns: 5 Signs your child might be a bully

Angela Goh

19 Jul 2016

updated the 1 August 2016 à 16:05

1/5
They are obsessed with their popularity
Some children are very much into their social status in school. Girls want to “show off”, boys want to be “physically stronger” than others - all in a bid to seek attention or to gain popularity. Sometimes, to get what they want, they may resort to bullying in order to establish their presence. For example, girls may decide to dictate what the “right” hairstyle should be in order to be likable, and those who do not subscribe to this prescribed “norm” become targeted and alienated.
2/5
They display aggressive behaviour towards others
Whether emotional or physical, a child who demonstrates aggressive behaviour is likely to take it out on their peers and schoolmates, perhaps even adults. While it is easier to spot this sort of behaviour when your child is younger (during their pre-teeange years), it gets harder to detect such anti-social attitudes once they become young adults. While their bullying can become more ‘covert’, they may become more vindictive, resorting to spreading unkind rumours about certain classmates and using social intimidation tactics.
3/5
Their friends are bullies
If you ever come into contact with your child’s friends, be sure to get to know them. If they seem like a calm and courteous group of kids who clearly show respect for others, that’s wonderful. But if a number of them have a tendency to be mean to those around them (even to those in their circle of friends), you might want to keep a close eye on them. Your child could be roped in to the antics of the misbehaving ones.
4/5
They break the rules often
If your little one enjoys testing limits and boundaries set by you or their elders, there is a possibility that they do not have much respect for other people. Teachers may complain that your child often disrupts the class or doesn’t complete his/her homework. If there is no underlying reason for this to be happening, your child may just be trying their luck and being uncooperative, which could escalate into something much more serious later on.
5/5
They show a lack of empathy
It can be hard to acknowledge that your child may not be as empathetic as most people. Empathy develops at a young age and plays an important role in the development of a child as they grow into adulthood. Bullies are often lacking in the development of their empathy. As a result, they are unable to acknowledge how others may feel when they are being bullied. If you are aware that your child is not an overly empathetic individual, it is important to encourage them to put themselves in other people’s shoes to garner a different perspective other than their own.

It’s important to know if your child is as sweet and innocent as you think they are, and it’s just as important to rectify their behavior if you find out they aren’t.

Bullying is a very touchy subject for kids, especially those in younger grades. If your child has been bullied before, it might have been easy to figure it out. They may have come home from school crying or looking depressed. However, if your child is the one doing the bullying, it may be much harder to come to this realisation, especially since you might not subconsciously be willing to acknowledge the fact. Parents might even become defensive if they are told their child has been targeting others.

Parents who do not act when their children bully others are just as much to blame. The upbringing of a child can impact on their behaviour in the future. Make sure you aren’t setting up your little ones to become anti-social and unpleasant people.

There are a number of ways to tell if your child is a bully. Head up to the gallery to see what the signs are, and make sure you have a proper conversation with them if they seem to exhibit more than a few of these traits. Something as simple as giving your child some extra positive attention may be all they need to reduce the severity of their bad behaviour.

Angela Goh

Photos: Getty Images

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