Serious Talks: 10 Things you should be teaching your daughter about her body

Angela Goh 05 Jan 2017

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Bodies are all different shapes and sizes
Confidence is key here, and you want to instill as much confidence in your daughter as early as possible. Teach her that she must learn to accept her body, especially if she begins to show concern over her physical appearance (height, weight, etc). It is also just as important to focus on her health. As she grows up, she will be exposed to unrealistic attitudes and critical comments about body image from magazines, television shows, and any number of advertisements in the media. Be sure that she doesn’t start to obsess over her appearance and over how she “should” look. Instead, support her with positive feedback that have to do with other aspects of her life, like her talents or hobbies.
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Be sure to take care of it
From head to toe, it is good to ensure your daughter respects her body by teaching her to adopt healthy eating habits and an active lifestyle. Teach her the importance of a well-rested, well-hydrated body, and encourage her to eat regular meals that are healthy and nutritious. Don’t forget about personal hygiene and safety. And yes, if you yourself are practicing good health habits, your daughter is more likely to follow your example.
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Changes and puberty
Girls can start having their periods as early as 9 or 10 years old, so it is very important to make sure they understand what this means. Explain to them in clear terms about the process that their body undergoes during this period and that once they begin menstruating, they should look out for other signs of development such as pubic hair growth, enlarging of breasts, acne, and mood swings.
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Sex and sexuality
Having a conversation with your pre-teenage daughter about sex can be a daunting task, but it’s best not to avoid the topic or be too vague about it. Your advice might be the only advice she will receive - woman to woman - so it is important to ensure she understands what a healthy relationships entails, and that she should only be sharing her body with someone who respects her and cares for her when she is older.
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Growth spurts and weight gain are a part of puberty
It’s normal for girls who hit puberty to experience a growth spurt, which is why many girls are taller than boys when they enter Secondary school. Increased body fat is also normal. Tell your daughter that going on a diet in an attempt to lose this weight may be counterproductive. Melisa Holmes, MD, co-author of the Girlology book series, states: “It’s not bad fat. Women just have to have a certain amount of body fat for reproduction and the health of our menstrual cycles”.
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Wear what feels comfortable
Of course, it’s nice to dress up once in awhile, but the important thing your daughter has to remember is that the wardrobe choices she makes and the clothes she wears are a ways of expressing herself. Tell her that she should wear what she feels comfortable in, and not what she thinks society “expects” or “what everybody else is wearing”. And, of course, it is also important for you to dish out regular compliments on her personal dress code.
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Always come across as confident
It is easy for your daughter to start feeling more self-conscious as she grows up. Her body type, what she decides to wear, right down to the shape of her nose or how short/tall she is… she will come to a point where she will actively start to compare herself with others. Tell her to always be confident, and that there is no reason to be self-conscious about how she looks. Her body is her own, and she is wholly unique.
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Embrace your differences
In the same vein as being confident, she must also learn to embrace her differences. Whether her skin colour is different to the majority around her, or whether her voice is deeper (or higher) than the rest of her classmates, or whether she prefers to be sporty in school while her friends talk about makeup and dresses, she must remember that her differences define her.
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Your hormones can affect you
Hormonal changes can definitely play a part in emotional response, as well as cause noticeable physical changes. Tell your daughter that there are ways to keep her hormones from fluctuating too much by leading a healthy lifestyle, eating a well-balanced diet, and always informing someone if she notices any abrupt changes in her mood or her body. Mood swings are one thing, but depression is something else.
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It’s okay to talk about it
Be sure to build a comfortable and accepting environment for her so that she is able to come straight to you for advice when she needs someone to talk to about her body and any changes she experiences. She will no doubt have concerns and questions when she starts to undergo puberty, especially if she thinks something is wrong (e.g. irregular periods). The last thing you want is for her to keep quiet about it, or to try to solve the problem on her own.

Bodies are all different shapes and sizes

Don’t underestimate the speed in which your precious little daughter will grow! Is it time to have a few serious talks with her?

She’s coming to that age now where she’s starting to ask all sort of questions (and they’re no doubt making you question what she’s picking up in school). Odd queries and observations like “how come I’m so much taller than all the boys in class?”, and “when will I get my period?”, and “the kids at school were talking about sex today”. Instead of getting flustered and feeling unsure of how to tackle the fact that your little one is growing up fast and would benefit from some amount of expert knowledge, it’s a good idea to set everything straight and educate her properly.

It should certainly bother you if your daughter is getting all her first-hand knowledge and understanding of the changes her body is going through from unknown sources on the internet or in the schoolyard. She might be start to pick up misleading information or start to worry about things that are completely normal.

Go over the basics with her. We’ve got a quick list of things you might want to cover. Don’t worry, you’re her parent, which means she will listen to you (even if she pretends not to).

Angela Goh

Photos: Getty Images

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