Physical workplace discrimination: Your stories

“I almost lost a job because of my small size”

Elisa , 39, interpreter and speaker.

“I’m small built: 1m 53 and 40kg. I have a master’s degree in sociology and I speak eight languages. However, I almost lost the job of my life because of my size. On a flight from Sao Paulo to Paris, I met the owner of a travel agency. Throughout the discussion, he saw that I have a true knowledge of the historical, sociological situation in Brazil. He was searching for someone with a profile just like mine. I was later presented to the team where I was to speak at a conference in front of 400 people. Dismayed looks everywhere. It is true that this was at a bar where cocktails were exchanged almost over my Lilliputian frame. But my boss stood by me. I knew my subject, I knew how to captivate an audience, and the audience of 400 people was conquered. I was hired. It’s been ten years since I worked for this agency.”

“A dietician is supposed to be skinny”

Marie, 28, dietician at a hospital

“There are very few positions as dieticians available, so the selection is tough. Criterion 1 of hiring: knowledge and experience. 2: motivation. 3: appearances. In a private spa-like or central kitchen which delivers meals business, the instructions are clear: dieticians should be skinny. In hospitals, we place more emphasis on interpersonal skills. In private, I got this comment: “a big dietcian is like a dentist with bad teeth.” If I were fat, I cannot say anything, but I’m normal! We talk about nutrition being healthy, right? I am a size 38 and it’s big? For that I prefer to work in hospitals.”

“Resented for being young, pretty and feminine”

Kate, 32, video game designer.

“Female rivalry is not a meaningless phrase. My head is on a plate at work.  My manager is an older woman who gives me drunk, disparaging words: “You went to see William with your cleavage showing?”, “You came from the club?” Or “Always perched on 20cm heels, are you a giant?” I love fashion and being a little vain. Why should I, in a creative job, dress like a nun? I was punished because I was young, pretty and feminine. I took off when she confined me to menial tasks. Then I went to see the big boss and I asked to find a job related to my post. She played the bad faith but at least it is no longer sabotaging my job.”

“I worked hard to prove that there was someone behind the hair”

Daisy, 45, director at the leader of the interim.

“In my case, appearances counted. I climbed the career ladder faster than my counterparts less blessed by nature. I quickly started to be responsible for a recruitment network (it is not closed office, we do meet clients), it is a commercial job. I ‘m tall, slim, I have long curly hair. When I applied internally, they (men) told me: “You’re the tall brunette with long hair?” and/or “You are radiant, you are a Leo, aren’t you?” I was rarely put anywhere according to my actions. I worked hard to prove that there was someone behind the hair. Of course, if you want to be a leader, you appropriate yourself to the code, position and dressing etc. But my job is also about beauty and measurements.”

“A dress code modelled based on that of men”

Cecile, 43, risk manager.

“In finance – a masculine environment – there is a female dress code modelled on that of men; well-cut suits in neutral colours. You must remain classy if you want to be heard. So that I am not labelled an overly open or a beautiful, silly girl, I stay on the side of total sobriety: no jewellery, no cleavage, minimal make up, hair tied, sharp outfit. I have been told that I’m pretty, I’m tall, Nordic-style. We do not judge a man on his outfit, if it meets the dress culture of the company. A woman, though? As long as she has the ambition, she has an interest in overplaying the “neutral femininity and class” card.

“Having a style consistent with the corporate image”

Florine, 47, director of an advertising agency.

“Being beautiful is having a look that keeps up with the desired company image. Some things are unacceptable: super tight clothing, piercings, bared navels, threadbare jeans and high heels with too-long hair. I can speak to a colleague on her look but never on her carriage and whether she should be reserved or outgoing, and how many pounds she should weigh. It remains on the image of the office and the skills of the person. When I started at 26, I wore suits to age myself and gain credibility. At age 50, I have a natural authority, so I allow the casual chic. Even if it is a world where we teach ourselves this, we are first judged based on our appearances.”

Read more from this series:

Are we recruited based on our looks?

Is our professional career dependent on our appearance?

Valérie Rodrigue