Indian Weddings: What to expect as guests?

So you’ve just been invited to your first Indian wedding and a million and one thoughts are whizzing through your mind at lightning speed. Well, slow down friend and hold on to your horses for we’re here to answer some of your biggest questions when it comes to attending the oh so spectacular Indian wedding.

Whether you’re going to a Hindu, Sikh or Sindhi wedding, the general concept is the same – it’ll be a Big Fat Indian Wedding filled with colours, fanfare and a whole lot of eating and dancing.

Do Indian weddings last several days and am I expected to attend everything?

Typically, Indian weddings last between 3 to 4 days depending on how traditional the family is and if certain ceremonies can be held in the same day – from morning to night. You can either attend the main ceremony on the final day or if you’re close friends you may even be invited to partake in the rest of the events.

Hindu wedding: The first day would either involve a pooja (prayer) ceremony held by a priest that involves only the close family members and relatives. The second day begins with a mehndi ceremony where the bride and her female friends will get their hands adorned with beautiful and intricate henna patterns. After which on that same evening, the sangeet will take place which is a night of revelry, singing and dancing – including performances from the bride’s and groom’s family. Finally, the third day would be the actual wedding ceremony followed by an evening reception in a banquet hall.

Sikh wedding: Everything else stays the same, with the only difference being the first day. The first day usual begins with a tehl/ maiya ceremony where the bride and groom – each in their respective homes – will get rubbed with a turmeric paste, focusing on the face, arms and legs/ feet. It’s believed that turmeric aids in beautifying hence it’s applied to make the bride and groom ‘beautiful’ and ready for their wedding day.

What will happen at the main wedding ceremony?

Hindu wedding: The bride and groom will be seated under a mandap (a canopy-like structure) where the priest will conduct a ritual and after which the couple will walk 7 rounds around the agni (an enclosed fire).

Sikh wedding: The ceremony will take place in a Sikh temple where the bride and groom will be seated in front of the prayer hall before the Sri Guru Granth Sahib (Sikh holy book). When it’s the time, the bride and groom will walk 4 rounds around the area where the Sri Guru Granth Sahib is placed as the priest reads the official wedding ceremony hymns. Usually the ceremony will be completed before noon.

How many people are at the wedding?

You can easily expect there to be between 150 –  300 people. All of which include immediate relatives to bride and groom’s friends or colleagues to parent’s friends and close acquaintances.

What gift should I get?

Generally there are no boxed gifts at the wedding so either send yours before hand to the bride or groom’s home or come ready with an envelope of money. While there’s no fixed amount to give, simply gauge by how much you would have spent on a gift and put that amount in the envelope. Also, it’s better or rather auspicious to have the amount end in a 1, meaning 21, 31, 51 etc.

What kind of food will there be?

More often than not people would tend to associate Indian food with spices but that doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s spicy. So calm your tastebuds down for there will be a huge selection of dishes ranging from vegetarian to non-vegetarian arranged in a splendid buffet style.

What colours to avoid wearing?

Generally the brighter the colours the better. The only one colour that you should avoid is white as that’s usually the colour worn during funerals.

At the end of the day, all you need to know is that you’ll probably have to ensure a couple of downright gorgeous and lavish outfits are ready to be flaunted and that you’ve got your dancing shoes on – you’ll never know when you’ll be roped in to show your moves on the dance floor. Oh and come with an empty stomach that’s raring to try all the good dishes!

Lastly, if you’re single, who knows who might just end up getting matchmade by a curious auntie. That could be good no?

Tarandip Kaur

Photo: Subra Govinda Photography