8 Expert tips on dealing with difficult relatives this Chinese New Year

Festive Tension: 8 Expert tips on dealing with difficult relatives this Chinese New Year

Shelina Assomull

01 Feb 2018

1/8
Be calm
You’ve got to go in calm and relaxed, anything other than this is setting up for a dinner time convo full of angst. No matter how many times you hear it, nothing beats taking a deep breath and clearing your mind. Experts recommend doing a meditation session before entering the relative festive space, to fully clear your mind of worries and anxieties.
2/8
Think before you speak
Just like you have to do this at work and during social situations, it’s wise to do it here. Although they are your family, a room of so many of them can often create a room full of varied opinions, emotions and expectations. Perhaps joking around with one auntie when your alone is totally okay, but in a room full of people she is more conscious of you showing respect. Take the time to consider their positions and a moment before you say something. This ensures a drama-free festivity.
3/8
Bring company
Ever noticed how families become way more normal when there’s someone from outside the family around? When it’s just the relatives, they often act like they have an ‘anything goes’ card, but throw in an outsider and they’re a little (just a little!) more refined. Invite your partner or one of your pals along for the relative ride and watch them all mellow.
4/8
Let go of sibling rivalry
Experts say that sibling rivalry can often manifest itself into adult siblings' relationships, which inevitably shows up at holiday get-togethers. Call up your siblings before-hand to catch up a little and laugh about some of the relatives you’re not looking forward to seeing - this will help you tag team a little. You’re better off friends than enemies in the face of numerous relatives, and a before-hand catch up will ensure as a gentle reminder to both of you that you should be on the same side.
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Watch your drink!
You know what they say, drunken mind, sober heart. Watch your drink intake to avoid overly candid declarations about how a particular auntie or uncle of yours really gets on your last nerve – while she’s on the other side of the room! Besides, ending up on the floor will definitely give your relatives something to complain about. Enjoy yourself a tipple or two, but don’t go crazy.
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Take a toilet break
When conversations heating up, and not in a good way, or if you need a little time out, excuse yourself to the bathroom. Sometimes you need four walls with no one else around to just take a deep breath. There’s no shame in it, and it’s much wiser than flipping out.
7/8
In one ear and out the other
Despite your best efforts to be civil or avoid them, there are simply some relatives whom there is just no hope with. For these special persons, give yourself the green light to let it go in one ear and out the other. Swiftly change the topic if that’s proving difficult, but whatever it is, just remember not to take it personally.
8/8
FOOD!
When all else fails, there is no better way to politely shut everybody up, than serving up the next dish. Everybody is nicer when there's food around. After all, they all can't argue if they're busy stuffing their faces with the festive feast spread. So yes; please auntie, we insist, help yourself to more food!

Looking forward to CNY, but much less your relatives who don’t quite nagging? Go hassle-free this 2018 with these pro tips.

Chinese New Year is almost here and although there’s plenty food, friends and fun to look forward to, one thing you might not be eagerly anticipating is all the relatives – particularly those ‘difficult’ ones.

(Let’s be real, every family has its fair share of drama sometimes.)

Sure, you love your family, and you are looking forward to seeing them, but you just know there is that one auntie that is going to ask you about whether you’re still doing that job they think won’t get you anywhere, comment on your parenting skills, gossip to you about another relative of yours, or why you still don’t have a partner – yikes!

If you’re lucky enough that this never ever happens, then please, we beg of you; share your secrets! If not, like most of us, scroll through our expert tips to keep in mind on how to best deal with difficult relatives over the festive period. These will definitely ensure you’re prepared for all the family drama this CNY.

Shelina Assomull

Photos: Getty Images

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