Absent-mindedness and clumsiness: Could it be hereditary?

BEING CLUMSY AND DISORGANIZED: WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

This behaviour speaks about us. It generally translates to an internal agitation, that can be connected to traumatising events or fears, such as the fear of being stuck or controlled. Absent-mindedness can be a way to escape a reality that is too restrictive. The loss of objects is even more significant, as it often affects symbolic objects: apartment keys, identity papers or bank cards. They summon up our relationship with our body, identity and money. These escape mechanisms are automatic as they are controlled by the most archaic brain, the reptilian one, which gathers feelings.

IS THE TRANSFERENCE FROM MOTHER TO DAUGHTER RANDOM?

It’s about imitation. Indeed, this process acts on everything, not only on the mother tongue! Maternal inheritance affects girls more than boys because, transmission occurs not only in the uterus and at the beginning of life, but also becomes more marked due to the similarities between the sexes – the girl identifies herself more strongly than the boy. This model can also create a counter-model: my mother is absent-minded, I am alert; she is disorganised, I am methodical, and so on.

DOES THIS INHERITANCE AFFECT A PARTICULAR PLACE IN THE SIBSHIP?

Traditionally, it affects the eldest daughter which is the child who transforms the couple into a family. Subsequent daughters live differently from maternal inheritance. She will receive other information from her elder sister, and will depart from it in order to distinguish herself. However, all this remains obviously very schematic.

AN ABSENT-MINDED FATHER, THEREFORE CANNOT PRODUCE AN ABSENT-MINDED DAUGHTER?

Of course he can! The transmission is generally made through the mother, but this doesn’t mean that the father is absent from the construction of his daughter’s identity. Everything depends on his presence, his implication and on the factual and symbolic place given to him by the mother.

ACROSS HOW MANY GENERATIONS CAN HEREDITY SPREAD?

Generally, three. The parent develops an identity with regard to his/her own parent. The model, or counter-model, transmitted to his/her children will be immersed by his/her parent.

HOW TO ELIMINATE IT?

It is necessary to want it! Some people live well alongside this peculiarity, while others are afraid of losing it as they imagine it will alter their identity. Some fear they will be betraying their lineage – the family culture. Therefore, you cannot try to modify your behaviour as long as you do not understand its meaning. It’s about identifying and integrating the messages sent by your reptilian brain. Finally, you cannot eliminate a behaviour without acquiring something to replace it. For example, practice taï-chi to work on being less clumsy.

Marie Le Marois