Stress: 6 Ways to stay calm in overwhelming situations

Lindsay POUI-DI 28 Jan 2015 updated the 6 October 2015 à 23:22

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1) Make an inventory of the current situation
Feeling that you are being listened to is essential before considering what to eliminate. Therefore, it is necessary to establish an overview of the current situation. “How often do you feel overwhelmed? In what circumstances and with what consequences?”asks Diane Rolland.
Admitting that you cannot bear it anymore facilitates awareness. It is only after this that the “tilt” can take place and, finally, you can introduce changes and find the courage to adapt your close relationships to this new organisation.
To keep in mind: Whether it is a family, professional and/or social concern, wonder yourself: who/what stresses you? Identify the situations that generate anxiety and try to detect the forerunners that lead to overwork. Then, find and develop no-stress strategies.
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2) Question your relationship with time
“Before any attempt is made to get back your time, it is necessary to learn more about yourself, or in any case have better knowledge of your relationship with time”, explains Diane Rolland to her trainees. There is no way to deliver a truth that applies to all: time is a personal notion; therefore, a bespoke approach is required.
“Think and note what comes in your mind: if you had free time, for what or to whom would you like to dedicate it? Do you sometimes have the impression you are wasting your time? In which circumstances?” These questions can highlight what you really wish and what you do not want anymore. In brief, what absolutely has to change in your life?
To keep in mind: In order to know concretely how you use your time, it is very useful to examine your timetable. Over the course of a week, list scrupulously all that you have done, for whom, for what. This will provide a faithful overview of what really happens in your daily 86 400 seconds.
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3) Get outraged
“Unique, time can’t be bought, sold or multiplied. You cannot steal it, borrow it or refer it. In other words, it is down to you, and only you, to choose how and with whom to spend it. Do not hesitate to assert it!”
Instruction: express your anger (just the once won’t hurt). “What makes you very angry? What do you find inequitable? What can’t you bear anymore?”, Diane Rolland encourages.
The aim of the exercise: find relief and relax. By expressing your feelings, you realise that you are the prey of frustrations and accumulated unspoken thoughts.
To keep in mind: By focusing on what prevents you from feeling serene, you can become aware that managing your time well is a choice.
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4) Reconnect with your needs
“It is well known that young mothers for example, get used to ignoring their needs, until eventually they no longer know who they are, what they like or what they liked doing “before”, notes the trainer. It is through this total amnesia, the self-forgetfulness, literally and figuratively, that they become lost. It should be considered a real wake-up call; it is vital to start listening to yourself again!”
What the trainer offers: take a leap into the past. Remember how you felt as a teenager and a young woman. “Of what did you dream when you were 15 years old, when everything was possible?”
To keep in mind: Another way of reconnecting to your needs is to close your eyes for two minutes and pay attention to your emotions. When you identify clearly a need, make a note then close your eyes again and continue to wonder. Finally, consider which of these desires you wish to satisfy most quickly; especially, what you can do, very concretely, to achieve it from now on. Casually, you will get from it, the incredible satisfaction of listening to yourself.
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5) Indulge in taking time for yourself
How to conquer your alone time when everything in life urges you to favour others (children, companion, boss, parents, and so on)? First of all, understand that taking time for yourselves isn’t theft, it is a necessity. It allows fresh ideas to develop and the recharging of your batteries. “This is essential to your balance and to prevent a meltdown”, explains Diane Rolland.
The difficulty: how to not feel guilty? “By understanding that if you are not kind to yourself, you will stop being that way with others”, replies the coach. Think of yourself, protect yourself. This is not a selfish approach, but quite the opposite, it is a humanist approach.” It changes everything!
To keep in mind: The best thing to do is not be consumed by the numerous expectations and requirements of others and “to protect” your timetable. Certainly, you work and you have a family, but your timetable is yours. Allow yourself some tranquillity slots you won’t cancel (unless it’s really serious!). Fifteen minutes here and there, half an hour by there... Indulge yourself for at least a whole hour each week.
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6) Plan your daily priorities
Where to begin when everything seems extremely urgent? “The idea to keep in mind, is the more things you have to do, the more it is necessary to set aside time to plan them. This means it is necessary to agree “to lose” some time in order to gain it finally”, explains the consultant. Her strong argument: by dedicating eight minutes a day to becoming organised, you gain one hour in your day! How? Note your tasks on a sheet (give-up the to-do list on a Post-it), prioritise them, and write their estimated duration by verifying the quantity of time required. Doing this task will prevent feelings of being overwhelmed.
To keep in mind: Rather than tearing out your hair trying to organise your time during the morning rush, think about it the previous evening. List three to five priorities for the next day (more would be unreasonable), estimate them in term of time occupation and put your notes on the breakfast table so you can review them in the morning. Then you can enjoy a good night’s sleep and a day visualised without difficulties.

1) Make an inventory of the current situation

Between work, children and everyday life, we are quickly overwhelmed. Learning to breathe and relax is essential. Here’s how to stay calm in these situations.

As women, mothers, and working mothers especially, we are always occupied with something and we forget to take a moment to stop, laugh, and treat ourselves. Founder of Cabinet Zen & Organisée, Diane Rolland, who is a consultant on time management, knows how much the everyday routine can stress us out.

“Permanently bound to numerous demands, stuck in a life rhythm of professional and family obligations, many women are gradually transformed into robots, operating on autopilot mode. If you relate to the responsibilities, you are most likely to experience the undesirable outcomes. Exhaustion becomes a form of stress you no longer know how to manage,” she said during her workshop in France.

Flip through our gallery to see our recap of the workshop to get an expert’s advice on how to stay calm and collected like the classy ladies that we are… even in the most utterly overwhelming situations.

WE LACK NOTHING, EXCEPT TIME

We have an understanding lover, obedient kids, a rewarding job with sufficient pay, good health and lifestyle; we have everything… except time. How can you be happy, even with everything on the grown-up to-have list ticked off if you don’t have time for oneself. Diane’s suggestion is simple: organize differently. “[Change] the way you manage your time, take concrete action and find your balance,” she stated.

TO RELEASE ONESELF: MIND MAPPING

Also known as “heuristic mapping,” mind mapping is a process created in the 1970s, that presents information in a spatial, visual and graphic way on a piece of paper. It works by associating ideas and creating a dynamic arborescence that aims to structure our thought functioning and implementation, whether this is in a personal, professional or educational capacity.

Having your thoughts laid out on a piece of paper might give you a chance to relax and think clearly. For the rest of the steps, check out our gallery!

Stéphanie Torre

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Stress: 6 Ways to stay calm in overwhelming situations

WE LACK NOTHING, EXCEPT TIME

TO RELEASE ONESELF: MIND MAPPING

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