Are you curious or are you spying?

Thanks to new technologies, monitoring your other half’s entourage on the sly has never been easier. Need to remove doubt about a possible infidelity or extend an incognito umbilical cord? A few clicks and it’s done. Preferred tools of the most curious (and most anxious), social networks have become the first weapon of mass investigation. However, they merely add to an already well-stocked arsenal of more or less proven domestic spying techniques.

“Tell me who and how you want them to be watched, I’ll tell you who I am…”

STALKING 2.0

Who has ever ferreted on the net in hopes of finding out what became of your man’s ex and his school friends or what his boss does on the weekend? Take Sarah, for example. Specialist discrete tracks, this medical secretary of 36 years without complex assumes her digital journey. To kill time at work, she likes to dissect the Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. accounts of all those around her. “Through a patient search I just went from the friends of friends of friends,” jokes the one that confesses to occasionally consulting the profile of her neighbours and even her nanny! Hidden behind the screen, she revels information via posts or photos, without leaving traces or comments. Holiday albums, education level, employment status, hobbies, daily mood… everything goes.

“Why deprive yourself?” Explains Patricia, who is accustomed to “Google-ing” everything that moves. “I only have a few minutes to know who I’m dealing with,” says the boastful project manager of 42 years. Less pragmatic is Isabelle, 39, who readily admits she spies on her former comrades in her spare time – memories to remember, like “the good old days’ and on bad days, to feel reassured (or not!). I am very focused on LinkedIn,” says the one who created her own line in ready-to-wear for children. “I look at who does what, who is in contact with this person and that person… And sometimes, yes, I am glad that I am one of those that have been more successful. It’s petty, but it feels good.” Discovering that her old rival made a cheesy wedding or decorated her neighbor’s office in tacky macramé, can brighten you day.

MUM IS WATCHING

Pupils of your eyes, your children are often the first to bear the brunt of your investigation fever. For proof, you would be dissecting, unwittingly, their Facebook accounts, according to a survey of parents with adolescents 14 to 17 years (AVG 2012). Naturally more intrusive than fathers (“only” 39% leap), mothers would also have more difficulty conceiving their children have disreputable digital activities, according to the same survey.

A truth for some is to ensure they don’t visit the profile of their teenage children, as “the sole purpose” of protecting their online reputation. “I do not seek to interfere in her private life: I simply want to ensure that it is not exposed on the Internet too, defends tooth and nail this mother-hen 49 years. Besides, if she kept a diary, it would not occur to me to force it.” says Fanny, a mother to a 15-year-old.

Anne-Claire, 44, acknowledges consult regularly and for less worthy purposes, the Facebook page of her 14-year-old son. “It isn’t very legit, but it allows me to keep an eye on his associations without giving the impression of harassment and know what he gets up to when I’m not there,” says the editor, whose schedule is irregular. To ensure that their teen is sleeping well at a friend’s place or does not hang around in front of the school gates, some go to the extent of using geo-location through battery trackers available in the market for bag tags, mobile apps and other GPS jackets (yes, you heard right).

AM I JEALOUS?

Couples obviously don’t escape our detective skills. In good standing bank or phone records, thorough search before each laundry (you wouldn’t want to screw up the machine, right?)… Each method has its more or less discreet way of sniffing out the truth. Sensing a slight smell of burning in her marriage, Daphne chose the method of ‘truffle dog’, after six years of a union without hiccups. “I started to smell his shirt collars and scrutinize the presence of foreign hair on his sweaters,” recalls the recruitment consultant. “I no longer called him on his mobile but on his office phone to make sure he was well. I even watched the odometer before managing to reach his mailbox!” There she discovered the unforgivable. Now divorced, she says from time to time to check the laptop of her new companion, in spite of herself: “I hate acting like that but I need to make sure that there is nothing fishy.” Traumatized? Without a doubt.

Everyone, however, is not expected to be suspicious to go fishing on the news. Four French states have already consulted secret mails, SMS or Facebook accounts, according to a Yahoo poll published in 2012. Having applied and becoming an assiduous spy for seven months, Sandrine hunted from the beginning and picked up on the smallest actions of her spouse. When she gets the chance, she steals his smartphone for X-ray directory, call history and exchanges text messages. On social networks, it’s the same paranoia. “I panic when I see his contacts appear, like a beautiful girl that I do not know. I am terrified at the idea of finding something and yet I cannot help but feel that it’s paradoxical. ”

To uncover the truth, we are sometimes ready for anything. Even to hack the laptop or computer of your spouse with spyware. Hidden and cheap, this type of cookie abounds on the Internet. Within the reach of a 5-year-old child, you can record all keystrokes and conversations and enable snapping up all the passwords.

Chloe Belleret and Nur Syazana H.