5 Skills that will help your child stand up to bullies

Schoolyard Tactics: 5 Skills that will help your child stand up to bullies

Angela Goh

23 Jan 2017

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Use your body language to your advantage
By the tender age of 3, your child is old enough to learn a few body language tricks that will make them seem like a less inviting target for bullies. Teach your little one a few simple, non-verbal, assertive body language cues to make sure they come across as confident and brave when someone decides to pick on them. Some examples include:
- maintaining eye contact while talking to a child that is bothering him/her,
- keeping voice even and calm,
- using the bully’s name when speaking to them.
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Buddy up & stay connected
Bullies usually target victims who are alone. The best advice to give your child is to make plenty of loyal friends and to have the unwavering support of adults. By maintaining these connections, your child will be able to feel more at ease in the schoolyard. Of course, be sure that your child is hanging out with the right people!
3/5
Use uncomplicated and unemotional language
It is easier for your child to be assertive if they use language that is unemotional and simple. This gives bullies the heads up that your child is not there to be victimised. Encourage your child to respond to bullies without indications of fear or anger - this way, they will come across as confident instead of emotionally impacted, and bullies will eventually find your child “difficult” to incite the emotional response they are looking for from their target.
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Practice a script
It’s tough to think of an appropriate response to a bully on the spot, so it may be worth the effort to get your child to rehearse a few lines that will stop the bully from going any further with their aggravating behaviour. Teach your child to speak in a firm voice - no whining or crying as that will only encourage the bully. As long as your child’s comeback isn’t a put-down (as that would only serve to make the bully angrier), a strong statement can deter bullies from picking on you. Suggest matter-of-fact lines like “I’m not going to play with you if you keep acting mean”.
5/5
Never fight the battle all by yourself
This is something your child should always keep in mind. While many children come to an age where running to an adult for help may seem “weak”, it is important for adults to become aware of any anti-social behaviour happening in school (or even online), not necessarily to step in and intervene immediately, but at least to give the proper advice to the parties involved. Parents of a bullied child might want to take the matter up with the bully’s parents, though it is always advised that the constructive discussion happens in a setting where a school official, such as a teacher or counsellor, can mediate.

Use your body language to your advantage

Bullying in the schoolyard, whether mild or serious, can severely impact your child’s self-esteem and behaviour.

It could be a case of occasional teasing or name-calling, which could start out playful and harmless, but may eventually evolve into something unkind, hurtful, and constant. It could be physical bullying, which could escalate into fights and lead to much more than just emotional scars. Or it could simply be rumour-spreading and gossip, which could lead to your child becoming depressed and afraid to attend classes each day.

Let’s face it: kids can be brutal, and bullying is not an uncommon thing. The best thing to do to lower your chances of your child being picked on in school is to arm them with a set of proactive skills that will allow them to feel capable of standing up to bullies. Do reinforce the notion that the act of bullying is essentially anti-social, unpleasant behaviour and that he or she should never “fight fire with fire”.

Head up to the gallery to find out the ways in which you can teach your child to stand up to bullies. These skills may come in handy, even as your child enters his or her adolescent and teenage years.

Angela Goh

Photos: Getty Images

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