Body language: What do people’s gestures reveal?

YOU ARE WITH YOUR LOVER, WATERSIDE WITH A SEAFOOD PLATTER. IT’S SUNSET, THERE IS A QUIET ATMOSPHERE, YOU ARE WEARING YOUR NEW DRESS BOUGHT DURING THE SALES AND YOU ASK YOUR BOYFRIEND IF HE LIKES IT.

Your man is not a cat. Nevertheless, there is something in his fleeting reaction (and his dilated pupil) that reminds you of your cat’s behaviour when you irritate him by dislodging him from the sofa… We easily control our facial expressions but, like cats, we are often betrayed by our eyes! Thus, if your man answers that your dress suits you very well, and if his pupils are dilated, he really means it. Phew. Conversely, if his pupils don’t move, it means that he simply wants to be kind. And he doesn’t dare tell you frankly that you are bulging out of it, or that he doesn’t like the dress colour.

YOU SPEND A WEEKEND IN THE COUNTRYside WITH FRIENDS. YOU IMPROVISE A BARBECUE. YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF THE SALAD AND ASK YOUR FRIEND IF HE CAN HELP YOU BY GOING TO THE SUPERMARKET TO BUY SOME MISSING INGREDIENTS. HE SAYS, “NO PROBLEM!”

But is it the truth? If he smiles, but has a set look, this subtle gap between the expression of the eyes and mouth betrays a forced good mood. Basically, he wants to lie by the swimming pool sipping a drink and watch the others. We can understand him…

YOU ARE LOUNGING WITH ALL YOUR FAMILY, EXCEPT WITH YOUR SON, WHO PROMISED TO STUDY HARD BEFORE LEAVING TO GO CAMPING WITH HIS FRIENDS. YOU ASK HIM HOW HIS CLASS REVISION IS DOING.

It is not because he blinks that your teenager is lying shamelessly to you. We blink on average between six and eight times per minute, by closing our eyelids during a tenth of a second, without particular stress. But if he answers you “Yes, yes, no problem” blinking in a prolonged way and looking far away, or by glimpsing towards the right and nibbling his pen – as a pacifier – it rather reveals a sign of anxiety, of dissatisfaction maybe due to his bad faith.

YOU HAVE A WALK IN THE BIG BAZAAR OF ISTANBUL. YOU ASK THE VENDOR IF THERE ARE ANY MORE OF THIS ATTRACTIVE BAG FOR YOUR SISTER. HE HAS A LOOK IN HIS STOCK AND YOU HAVE YOUR FINGERS CROSSED…

Crossing your fingers is a bad reflex! It is a superstitious gesture in Northern Europe. But in Turkey, it is also the symbol of a worn-out friendship. If the vendor saw you, it’s then not certain that you will get your bag…

Isabelle Soing