Why does love happen when we least expect it?

Lindsay POUI-DI

06 Oct 2014

mis à jour le 14 July 2015 à 18:34

It is well known that when we look for love, it doesn't come and when we turn our back on it, it comes knocking on our door. Our experts explain why such love arrives when you least expect it.

We have given up on the idea, and we are now happy with having dinner by ourselves in front of a TV, watching our favourite show. And BAM! it hits us, love at first sight. First, we reproach ourselves for falling into the trap. This idea of suddenly being unable to resist a random guy, somebody who could be made for us, what claptrap! The big girl that we are is not going to believe in miracles.

"This sensation of immediate complicity comes less from supernatural than from a very real internal concoction, from our own representations which echo our fantasies. Love at first sight can thus be explained rationally," says Dr. Philippe Brenot, psychiatrist and couple therapist. One day, we meet our dark side, this wild side that we didn't even suspect its existence. More than with the ideal man, it is a date with ourselves. It is not because we became an iron lady that we do not have any more desires for love and for unconscious secrets.

We harden ourselves, discipline ourselves, with a lot of bitterness and distrust. But it is exactly in this under-surveillance desert that such love is going to appear. "When we are not any more waiting, or planning a strategy, we can finally let ourselves be charmed by somebody,” explains trans-generational psychoanalyst Juliette Allais, and the chances are high that this man will not be our usual type.

Something in him is going to reveal an image of the male that pleases us. When we look for nothing, neither the man of our life, or the father of our children, we become Zen, and more honest. And it has a magnetic effect on males. And it has a lively effect on ourselves as well: Here we are, ready to live fully a wild love story in 3D.

Why does love happen when we least expect it?

Read more from our 'love at first sight' report:

React to this post Cancel reply