Love at first sight: How to achieve a lasting fairytale love?
updated the 14 July 2015 à 18:34It is always necessary to believe in love, but how do we stand the chance to live our fairytale love to the fullest and make it last? We ask the experts.
In every relationship, we risk suffering to some extent. And because with love at first sight, we would have jumped over all the obstacles sweeping past the flirting period, waiting and dreaming before the achievement, the risk of being deceived is even bigger. This brilliant man, this trainer of big wild cats is just a simple guy who lives with his small cat. “Because love at first sight is instant, not rough or demanding, we often have to step back and see things with hindsight. We can love crazily and immediately, but we should not invent the other person or project on him what he clearly is not. It is necessary to have this capacity not to stay completely taken by the madness of the beginning, and to know how to deactivate these mental images of idealized love,” explains Dr Philippe Brenot, psychiatrist and couple therapist.
In other words, we don’t have to add romanticism to romance. The love should be enlightened and not blind. We bet on the unknown, but we should know how to keep a cool head (just the head) and to evaluate the risks (do not buy an apartment together immediately). “It is necessary to be able to confront the reality and understand what this love at first sight meant for us,” concludes trans-generational psychoanalyst Juliette Allais.
Is it a personal crisis? A boring life with our spouse? A quest of the ‘ideal’ man? Being unable to resist an engineer who spends half of his life on an icebreaker in the North Pole, means that we look for sensational things. As long as we do not expect the impossible, we can enjoy the supernatural side of the meeting, the magic that comes with such encounter which soothes the harsh reality of our daily life. Although it might not seem so at the beginning, this supernatural side of things could create solid foundations; it is the thing that comforts us on those particulare blue days. Those “Do you remember when we first met?” conversations are worth a thousand efforts to (re)seduce each other. And this story on which nobody would have bet can evolve quietly towards the golden wedding anniversary.
Read more from our ‘love at first sight’ report:
What kind of women are prone to love at first sight?
Why does love at first sight happen when we least expect it?
Love at first sight: Couples tell us their stories
Valérie Rodrige
