Could ‘going to bed angry’ actually be healthy for your relationship?
‘Never go to bed angry’ – we’ve heard this relationship advice time and time before. But is there any scientific truth to it? We find out.
“Don’t go to bed angry,” is perhaps the most offered of relationship advice you’ll hear from experts, relationship blogs, your parents, you name it.
After all, the idea that calling it a night without resolving a conflict with your partner can be divisive to your relationship makes sense. However, scientifically-speaking, staying up through the night to talk things out may not always work in your favour.
Why ‘Sleeping On It’ Works
A study from the University of Massachusetts discovered one night of sleep can enhance decision-making abilities, as our brains are able to mull over the different ways to address the issue. Which means that sleeping an argument off can actually help you resolve it better.
In fact, according to experts, letting go of any negative emotions before bed and putting your argument on hold first is actually more effective in resolving conflicts and improving your relationship.
Now, don’t get this confused with simply ‘walking away from an argument’. Bonnie Eaker Weil, author of Make Up, Don’t Break Up, suggests saying this to your partner: “I really love you, I’m sorry that we have this misunderstanding, and in the morning we’ll discuss it when we have some more time.”
According to Weil, putting your argument on hold for the night so that these negative emotions don’t affect your sleep is actually healthier for you in the long run. Studies have linked how having just one night of bad sleep (i.e. from staying up to hash things out) can actually cause more fights in the future.
While it’s commendable, it’s also likely that whatever feeble resolution you end up arriving at is often something you agree upon for the sake of ending the conversation – which doesn’t solve anything anyway.
‘Never Go to Bed Angry’: Just Metaphorical Advice?
This is not to say that there isn’t any truth at all to ‘not going to bed angry’ with your partner. Rather than taking it literally however, perhaps there is a bigger metaphorical picture to this age-old advice: that you should always try to resolve your differences with your partner, rather than holding onto grudges or sweeping your differences under the rug.
So the next time you find yourself clashing with your spouse, consider how a good night’s sleep can actually do wonders to your ability to look at everything rationally – and better resolve your differences the morning after.
Sarah Khan
Photo: Getty Images
Read More:
Right Vibes: How your bedroom decor could be affecting your sex life
Sleeping in Separate Beds: Could it save or break your marriage?
According to new study, this (odourous) habit of your husband’s helps you live longer
