10 Ways to resolve conflicts healthily in a relationship

Dione Chen

05 Aug 2016

updated the Friday, August 5, 2016

1/10
Go ahead and argue
Arguing is caring enough for the other person to find out exactly what he or she is upset about. Ending your argument in a cold war isn't. Nobody can read your mind, so make sure you communicate your thoughts with the person you love most. Ignoring the problem at hand will just cause it to resurface again at a later time.
2/10
Take some time to calm down
Nothing good will come out of a heated argument. The both of you need to talk things out rationally, and it can only be done when you leave your emotions out of the picture. Whether you need five minutes or three hours, taking some time to think through the situation yourself is important as it can make a huge difference to how you perceive the situation.
3/10
Address the underlying issue
If you guys find yourselves arguing way too often, perhaps there is a deeper problem that's causing these trivial fights. Try to find out if it's because you feel distant from each other, or if one of you just needs more of a listening ear on a daily basis. Targeting the root problem is an effective way in resolving all these conflicts on the surface.
4/10
Listen to each other
Listening means really taking the time to sort out your differences and giving your partner the time to talk, without any interruption. Even if you feel like you need to defend yourself, let your SO finish explaining themselves before you start. Concentrate on what they are saying instead of preparing for your own comeback without truly understanding the other side of the story.
5/10
Skip the contempt
Things like eye-rolling and words of sarcasm are immature and condescending - certainly not healthy actions to take when faced with a quarrel. Contemptuous behaviour is toxic to any relationship, and doesn't solve any problem as far as we know. Learn to be humble and treat your other half with respect.
6/10
Learn to apologise
"Sorry" can be a very difficult word to say, especially in a relationship where both parties seem to be in the wrong. Who says it first doesn't matter. Swallow your pride and admit your mistakes instead of blaming your other half, which can cause another argument to ensue. When both of you learn to apologise, future arguments will be fixed in a shorter amount of time.
7/10
Remember that you are a team
Keep this in mind at any point of your relationship, through the good and the bad. When you know the both of you are working towards a mutually beneficial solution to protect your future together, problems can then be handled amicably, as compared to seeing yourself as an individual and working it out for your own benefit and potentially causing unforgivable damage to your relationship.
8/10
Create a win-win situation
List out all of the possible options together, and pick the best solution that is beneficial for the both of you. This helps you remain objective and rational instead of succumbing to your emotions. Compromise may not result in the happiness of both parties, but coming up with a win-win situation will.
9/10
Assume the best of your partner
How you interpret the actions of your partner greatly affects how your day will turn out. For example, a simple "what did you do today?" can be treated as an invasion of privacy, or a genuine question to understand you better. When you assume that your partner only has good intentions, potential conflicts can be prevented.
10/10
Continue loving each other
Never stop loving your partner, as it is the one thing in your relationship that will spur you on to deal with any obstacle that comes your way head-on. When you and your partner constantly receive love from each other, it will serve as a reminder why you guys continue to fight for this relationship in the first place.

All couples fight. Here’s how you can do it differently to ensure a successful relationship.

When couples argue, it doesn’t mean that there is a problem with the relationship. Many couples disagree on many standpoints, since we are all fundamentally different people who hold different beliefs. Arguments don’t have to be aggressive or violent. You can easily resolve a conflict by talking it out peacefully and logically with your partner, which can make a whole lot of difference to how your conversation will end.

Arguing is a form of communicating, after all, but take note of the way you do it. In our gallery are a few tips you might want to use the next time you feel the heat rising in your body when conversing with your partner. A healthy relationship takes lots of effort, but the results are definitely worth it.

Dione Chen

Photos: Getty Images

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