Self-Help: How to identify and overcome emotional abuse
You are the captain of your own ship – fend off the bullies and love yourself!
Emotional abuse has many definitions but it is best characterised by typical patterns of behaviour and relationship development. Emotional abuse usually revolves around a power imbalance between partners – where at least one person in the relationship seeks psychological, sometimes physical, control of another. However, on its own, emotional abuse hardly involves physical aggression when more often than not, this abuse is not always intentional, obvious or conscious. Many a time, someone in an emotionally abusive environment may not recognise their own abusive ways or they may not recognise the abuse suffered as being legitimate. Victims especially believe that just because they do not suffer from physical abuse by their spouse or partner, they are safe. Albeit, not necessarily the case, the scars of an emotional abuse are mental and can cause a lot of grief and unhappiness that may lead to more serious mental illnesses in the long run. Emotional abuse, although rarely talked about, happens more often than not.
How to identify emotional abuse?
It may come in many forms and the most common signs are name-calling, belittling, criticism, possessiveness, paranoia, threats, manipulation, shame, blame, disapproval, correction, gossip, sabotage, ignoring, neglect and imposition. You will be placed at a level beneath your partner’s. It may very well be the case that your status to your partner will be that of a punching bag. Only once you have acknowledged that it is not okay to be treated like that will you understand that what you go through is not normal and people in healthy relationships do not face issues like this. However, there are ways to overcome it and we hope you do!
How to overcome emotional abuse?
Always remember, you are the captain of your ship. Learn to set boundaries, do not live life thinking it’s okay to be treated any less than you deserve. Disassociate from the past – there is no point crying over spilled milk – when it’s over, it’s over. It will take time to heal from emotional trauma caused by an abuser, but gradually, you will discover an inner strength and resilience to build a bright future. A change of environment would help, a lot. Remember, only you can control yourself – it’s always important to do what makes you feel good.
In conclusion, it is important to have a vision of who you would like to become once you have regained control of your life. If it helps, look for role models. No longer will you be controlled without your permission. Most definitely, do what it takes to gain a sense of self-empowerment.
Sonia Lourdes
Photo: Getty Images
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