Infidelity: Unfaithful…in your dreams!

During the day, thoughtful and tender, we are sure of our feelings…in love, at peace with each other, constantly on the same wavelength. Our relationship is the perfect Doctor Jekyll, without fear and above all, without reproach. At night – though of course not every night – in a second life beyond our control, Mister Hyde is sometimes unleashed, amusing himself with writing the scenarios of our dreams.

And in that moment, we can get carried away… Which innocent soul has never found themselves red with shame at the fact that just two hours before, they had found themselves twisting in bed with the baker, wearing nothing but a sequinned G-string? It was in a dream, okay, but this does not make you forget the way he whispered “again, again”, whilst savagely biting your earlobe. Virtually putting the man who makes our daily bread in our bed does not necessarily mean we would do the same in daylight. What does it mean, then, to subconsciously cheat on your partner with a man we encounter every morning, but has the sex appeal that makes him perfect for that midnight soiree?

There is no guide book to decrypt the universal ramblings of our erotic dreams. We build our dreams like a scrap book, by drawing on a personal catalogue of experienced images, loaded with meaning unique to the person. But this does not mean that we cannot say anything about them. Because, though there is no possible automatic decryption, some basic rules still allow us to read into our nightly rendezvous.

AN ADMISSION OF DISSATISFACTION:

Whether we are cheating or being cheated on, a dream of infidelity mostly reflects dissatisfaction with our current situation, summarizes the American Carol L. Cummings in her book Erotic Dreams where she dissects our most licentious dreams. Indeed, when we take the position of the betrayed one, the witch who takes our beloved away from us is generally a fantasy woman that possesses the qualities we feel deprived of. “It is probably a facet of your personality that you are not satisfied with, or some aspect of your life that you fear and paralyzes you,” says Carol Cummings.

A shy blonde may conjure up a devastating, raven-haired man-eater, whilst a talkative person will find herself outdone by a mysterious, silent creature… For ages, those interested in dreams have found that reversing the point of the dream is usually the best way to get the message… and it was thus necessary to put everything in order to understand it. Laughter signifies tears, and treasure, misery and ruin… So that blonde bombshell preying on your man in your dream is without a doubt from a buried fear of that other girl with hair jet black from the roots to the tips of her eyelashes…

If this is the dreamer herself who is flirting or creating the perfect love story with someone other than her actual partner, it is even easier to understand that this depicts some form of dissatisfaction. Our baby has left the country for three weeks for work, and now we are having wild sex in our dreams… You don’t have to be Sherlock Holmes to guess that you are missing the cuddles and are compensating for it. And if we chose to sleep with our exes in our subconscious, it may be because we have already experienced the same sort of frustrating separations from our previous suitor.

A NEED TO COMPENSATE :

To share their nocturnal frolicking, “women tend to dream more often about men who are friends or relatives,” suggests Carol Cummings. To explain our gallant imaginary choices, she shares with us some clues. If this is someone we know, we must find – without thinking – three adjectives to describe them and ask ourselves what they awaken in us. We dreamt of an old, grinning uncle with whom we waltzed at some family wedding, we chose “humour, laughter and lightness” thinking about him…and we realise that we have too many hindrances at work, or that we symbolically are expressing our agitation about the heavy, cold atmosphere at home.

Dreaming of our boss, a president or a crowned head evokes the idea of authority. It is up to us to judge if we have had enough, or we desire more. How about a wild night with Robert Downey Jr.? The scene may simply suggest that we desire to be at the same level as the stars, and that we thirst for recognition. Carol Cummings even mentions the possibility of a “body-body” with an alien. You rolled about with an ET? Perhaps you feel foreign to your own life, or you aspire to be more spiritual. When the crush of a night is a complete stranger, you can first try to determine if he is in fact a representation of a few different acquaintances. “Generally, when you dream of someone without a face, this person is an unknown aspect of the self that we want to discover or to disappear, depending on the context,” explains Georges Romey, a great connoisseur of our dream activities.

Romey has fifteen years of experience working on analysing dreams, where he has compiled a directory of the most common symbols (1). “A picture does not mean what it shows, but is rather a symbol,” he says. “It becomes a symbol in its ability to serve as a screen, on which the dreamer will project the values ​​it carries within it, without even realising it.” And premonitory dreams? Carol Cummings puts the figure at 3%. “There is often confusion between premonitory and anticipatory dreams,” says Georges Romey. “In the first case, it is the announcement of an event that will take place, without which nothing can be expected. In the second, the unconscious assembles indices, summarizes and delivers a message, while the conscious has not yet fully registered it…”

This is demonstrated by a happy anticipator: “It was during the summer, I did a little job during the holidays near the sea, David too. One night I dreamt that he came to join me in my little studio and we made love. It was very successful that it sparked my curiosity. The dream gave me the green light. We have been living together for nine years now…”

Read also:
– How to forgive infidelity?
– Men: How can they love and deceive at the same time?
– Infidelity: Which are the most unfaithful astrological signs?

Martine Azoulai