The expert opinion: Why does buying clothes make us feel so good?

Why does a new garment please us? 

Elise Ricadat. It recharges us on a narcissistic level, the saleswoman values us, and under the glowing store lights we feel like we are somebody.

Lydia Taieb. It is the desire to capture another image of oneself, the desire for novelty that materializes in this manner. It is easier to change an outfit or a haircut than a job or man. Shopping thus provides us the instant gratification we need, and this gives our energy a boost. We don’t have to wait for anything else for it, fashion is a magic wand in this sense.

Where does this increase in self-confidence come from? 

Elise Ricadat. Being well-dressed makes us feel attractive, and being looked at feeds our narcissism. Our outfit is a bridge between our personal and social selves. It says something about our inner life, it reveals us, without us entirely exposing ourselves. Supporting our ideal and self-identifying projections, it gives us all the power to become our dream character – such as we observe in the omnipotence experienced a child disguising himself as Superman.

Lydia Taieb. A woman comfortable in her own skin is able to play with the different facets of her femininity. It affirms that she is 100% woman. There is sense of well-being to be seen as you really are. Do not be deceived – this does not mean that there is no gap between what we look like and what we are, but being seen how we want others to see us gives us a cherished assurance. We always have a special piece of clothing, much like our safety blanket when we were young, (the reassuring second skin) or talisman (lucky clothing).

Does our relationship with clothes always come from our mothers?

Elise Ricadat. The mother provides the first idea of femininity. If she has over-invested in this area, she can transmit to her daughter a certain anxiety and dependence on the eyes of others. If she neglects her femininity, her daughter may instead find everything that makes one feminine a huge mystery, or even put femininity and futility on the same page, in order to prevent any sort of mother-daughter rivalry. The image of femininity is trans-generational; therefore the maternal grandmother figure may become the referent…

Lydia Taieb. More and more mothers are shopping with their daughters and they even exchange clothes. This manner of creating a “common skin” speaks volumes about the stronghold of the mother on the femininity of her daughter. There is a false complicity and a true fusion between the mother-daughter pair. The man (father, husband) is excluded from this, it means that something is not working in the couple.

When you buy a lot of shoes or a lot of cheap items, what does that mean?

Elise Ricadat. Footwear prevents the need to confront oneself on the size of clothing.  Having shoes in size 38 when you cannot or can no longer fit into a shirt in 38 feels like a form of compensation.

Lydia Taieb. If we generally wear old outfits, there is a tendency not to allow ourselves any new things. One who does allow herself anything but originals of brands expresses the desire to lead an extraordinary life (when hers is not). Conversely, the one that buys ripoffs of certain models does not do that as a matter of budget (she buys cheap things, but in large quantities), but also because she does not think she deserves the original. She lives on the trend of “as if.”

Read more from our report “Shopping: Why do clothes make us so happy? “

Testimonies: What do we gain from our shopping sprees?

* Elise Ricadat and Lydia Taieb are psychoanalysts and authors of “Rien à me metre” (Nothing to me) (Albin Michel).