Testimonies: Why do you older women like younger men?

updated the 11 June 2014 à 22:32

Is the age difference in couples really so important? Can we not just live and let live? Discover testimonials of Lydia and Ella – two women in relationship with younger men.

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No way I was going to mother him just because he is twenty years younger than me!   Lydia, 44, married to Franck, 24 years.

“At the beginning, I did not believe that our love story would last, indeed, my friends told me it was crazy. Their perspectives changed when we had a baby together. It was as if our relationship had returned to the ranks of acceptability. When I met Frank, he was 20 years old and already surprisingly mature for his age. And as for me, at 40 years old, I had never felt so good with a man. My mother was shocked: “Have you lost your mind? He could be your son! One day, he will leave you for a younger woman.” And she managed to plant the seeds of doubt in my mind, so I tried to distance myself from Franck…but he never gave up. It was he who wanted us to live together. But the question remained – to have a child, or not? Between Franck and I, it was THE taboo topic. Until one day he gave me the green light, simple as that.

Eight months later, I was pregnant. Today, our little girl is two-and-a-half years old. The first while, her father struggled to get up at night when she cried. Like all young people, he is a very heavy sleeper, and I would have to shake him ten times before he even opened an eye. Of course, there are a few little things related to his age that bother me, like spending hours in front of his PlayStation. Or when he proposes watching 300 together…

I decided never to mother him – he is my man, the father of my child, and certainly not my kid! In a restaurant, the waitress handed me the menu saying, “One moment, let me bring one for your son”. It makes him laugh a lot, he has the art of de-dramatizing everything… But I have to be realistic about it. In twenty years I’ll be in my sixties, and Franck will be in the prime of his life. Maybe he will want, and need, a younger woman. I know it will happen. But whatever will be will be, no?”

He said “Let’s not worry about it”.   Elodie, 50 years, living with Luke, 32.

“I met Luke in a club in Tunisia, where I spent my vacation with a friend. I had been divorced for five years, men were not lining up at the door. We pleased each other physically, and, at that time, the age difference mattered so little that we did not even talk about it. Obviously, he was much younger than me. It was a delightful affair. It was only when I got back home that I realized I had fallen in love – I was expecting some sign, just like a giddy teenager.

Miraculously, he telephoned me and suggested dinner. I was ecstatic… and anxious. There had to be a moment when I would have to confess my age! And that is exactly what I did that evening, trembling. However, these eighteen years difference made him neither hot nor cold. He just said “let’s not worry about it”. We met regularly. I would daydream about him offering to live with him, and he did eight months later, convinced that I would refuse. It is true that I was obsessed with our age difference.

And it has been eight years that we have been living under the same roof. These eight years have reconciled me with life and men. Luke is extremely kind, as no man has ever been with me. I have two daughters. The younger has stressed about it for ages, and as such we no longer live together. She reproached me for behaving like a young girl, refused to meet Luke, and if she was obliged, acted as if he was transparent. She has since been forced to conclude that I had changed for the better. I was finally happy!
After the initial surprise, my eldest accepted Luke gracefully. I think she has lectured her sister and made her understand that I was entitled to some happiness. It was arranged, and now my youngest also sees Luke as a friend. Living with a man who could be your son is not exactly the easiest thing. I put in a lot more effort than before to stay young; it is a battle every moment! Clothing, lingerie, gym, etc…. Besides, I have a jealous temperament that I try to hide. I do not like arriving at a party and see a room full of young and beautiful girls. It makes me feel like I am in danger.

What if one day Luke becomes aware of his youth, and falls in love with a woman of his age? Every woman in my position would have the same reaction, right? It is a matter of being realistic. It reassures me that we have lived in harmony for eight years, and there is no reason to change that. I try to live day by day and that makes me feel good. Above all, I have no regrets.”

To continue reading our report on “Age difference makes us happy!

Cougar Town: Cougars can relate!

Maryse Vaillant Interview: Age differences make stronger unions

 


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Marie France Asia, women's magazine