Breakup and separation: “I was head over heels, and he was undecided”

Breakup testimony: “I was head over heels, and he was undecided”

Louise Enriquez

24 Jun 2014

mis à jour le 26 June 2014 à 13:01

Every day, you are faced with a man who does not reveal his feelings, who is too introverted...and because of that, you decide to leave. Read on to find out about Charlotte’s story.

Charlotte, 36 years

“Oddly enough, this is the one thing I am most proud of in my life. However, at the time, it killed me. I remember very well, we were in a restaurant and suddenly the question popped up in my mind: I put down my fork, I looked right into his eyes, and I asked him: “Do you love me?” He was embarrassed, I think he strongly sensed my determination, and he tried to trick me by responding with a “What do you mean by love?”

It was at this point that I went at it like clockwork: “What the entire world understands it means!” He replied, saying “I am good with you.” It had been eight months that I had been hearing the same things – “We are okay as we are”, “Let’s not take it to heart” – and I was frustrated, I suffered, because I loved him. I know that the stories take place as a couple, but that was how it was, I was madly in love with a double-minded man, the kind that does not want to commit. Needless to say, it was hell for each other. I do not know where I got the courage to face him that night, but I ended it right there. I no longer wanted it. Before that, I reassured myself by thinking about the good times we had had, because there were a lot of those, and persuading myself that things would change. But that night, I told myself it was now or never. And I stuck to it, because as leaving the restaurant he declared: "Wait, I think I am making bullshit of my life.” Except that it was not what I wanted to hear.

Today, I realized that this man was incapable of expressing his feelings, or even being aware of them. But I am no therapist. I cried for days and days, but what liberation! It took me some time before I was able to begin a new story. I met Mathias a year ago, and then, thanks to the Undecided One, I can now fully enjoy every day being with a loving man that I love.”