Infidelity: Forgive to overcome adultery

Lindsay POUI-DI

03 Nov 2014

updated the 14 July 2015 à 18:33

One of the main steps to rebuild a relationship after an infidelity, is forgiveness.

Even if it can seem silly, the forgiveness, given by the deceived and received by the unfaithful, is crucial to rebuild a relationship after an infidelity. But the psychotherapist warns that we often make a mistake with the real meaning of the forgiveness. It isn’t about forgetting, nor even keeping silent. The idea is, on the contrary, to accept gradually to give up our bitterness to trust again and calm our own suffering. It is not so hard to do it. If both accept giving up their ‘victim’ status and give up their numerous reproaches. It is necessary to take time to achieve to do it. “The one who wants to give his/her forgiveness has to be able to express his/her sadness without making the other feel guilty too much nor assaulting the other one. It is necessary to understand the emotional vulnerabilities of her / his partner. And accept, one day, not to return constantly any more on the treason made and turn to the future,” explains the psychotherapist. As for the one who asks for the forgiveness, he/she will have to fight. They should present sincere excuses for the sadness caused, offer good faith security by doing everything to reassure the other one, stay patient when the incomprehension comes back with its numerous awkward questions…it is necessary to be simply there, available and loving.

Stéphanie Torre