Breaking up: “I secretly thought that he could bear everything”
updated the 14 July 2015 à 18:33Nora, a 48-year-old archaeologist, divorced with two children, was dumped without warning.
“When he announced to me that he was going to leave home, rent a studio and take care of our daughters part-time, I collapsed. For 10 years, I gave him everything. Now that he had a job, he wanted his independence and dropped me. As a matter of fact, he had taken advantage of me. A long period of therapy enabled me to understand that I had been rather bossy and stifling all these years, and that pushed him towards the breakup. I should have seen it coming. I had only reproaches and orders for him, and thought secretly that he could bear everything. My parents gave me this model of a relationship; “Neither with you nor without you”. If I suffered so much from this breakup, it is as well because it frightened me. I preferred to stay with a man with whom I didn’t get along, in order to maintain the image of a married woman, rather than facing solitude. Today, I focus more on understanding the relationship than on the capacity of the couple to last.”
Read more in our “breakup” report:
Breaking up: Dumped without warning
Breaking up: “A friend opened my eyes”
Breaking up: “Our lives drifted apart without me noticing”
Valérie Rodrigue
